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Romance 101 – A pep talk

For some, romance comes easily and naturally. For others, being romantic can be difficult at best. Whether extremely capable or a bit bumbling, we all need to make an effort to keep the romance alive and well in our relationships.

Charming ineptitude
One of the most important things to remember when it comes to being romantic, is that it isn’t so much what we do, but that we try to do something – anything. Romance is one of those things where even a lame attempt beats the heck out of no attempt at all. So for all those who let their fear of looking silly or their lack of a romantic flair stop them from at least trying to be romantic, quit worrying and start doing! That’s the wonderful thing about romance – even if you do come off looking a bit inept, it just adds to the charm.

Simply put, you need not be a poet to write a love letter. You don’t have to be gourmet chef to prepare a candle lit dinner for two. As long as what you do or say comes from the heart, you can’t go wrong. Additionally, it’s often the little things that say the most, so don’t feel being romantic takes a grand gesture or requires an expensive gift – that’s just not the case. Sometimes hiding a simple love note for your partner to find during the day is all it takes to make them feel wanted and special.

Drawing a blank?
Okay, so now that we’re sufficiently pumped-up to romance the socks off our partners, what are we going to do for them? Ah yes, the granddaddy of all romantic stumbling blocks – the idea.

I would guess even the greatest lovers of all time drew a blank occasionally when it came to coming up with a great romantic notion. When this happens, we’re probably putting too much thought into the WHAT, rather than the HOW. When we concentrate only on what type of romantic gesture to make, this can often be a block to the free flow of ideas. If we approach the problem from a different perspective – considering HOW we want our partner to feel, suddenly ideas begin to come to mind. This gives us a frame work of sorts to build upon. Give it a try the next time you find yourself searching for a good romantic idea.

We also need to consider our partner’s likes and dislikes, and what would be meaningful to them. Remember, this is about them, not us. (Pssst… Guys: Although sexy lingerie is wonderful, are you really buying it for your partner, or for yourself?) Often, if we keep our eyes and ears open, our partners will give us clues to what they find romantic, etc. Sometimes the very things they do for us are a good indication of what they would like us to do for them.

Conveying your love
Keep in mind, romance is more about feelings and emotions, than it is about things. Mood, spontaneity, and speaking from the heart are much more important than anything you could ever buy in a store.

Being romantic is nothing more than the means by which we convey to our partners all the loving thoughts and feelings we have for them in our hearts and minds. Even for those of us who find it difficult to express these things, it’s important to try, and try often. Your partner will love you for it, and your relationship will flourish because of it.

That’s the thing about relationships, like anything else, the more effort and thought we put into them, the better they become. Now go out there and put a little romance in your relationship!

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