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Marriage Builder – Are you a giver or a taker?

Are you a giver or a taker in your marriage? If we’re really honest with ourselves, we’d have to say both! Marriage experts Claudia and David Arp — founders of Marriage Alive! — suggest that for now we focus on how to be a giver.

Giving 100%
One husband said, “We have a lot of give and take in our relationship — I give and my wife takes!” Now that’s not what we’re talking about. Neither are we talking about the philosophy, “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.” And forget each giving 50 percent. It’s more like each should give 100 percent!

How giving are you in your marriage? Do you seek to serve your partner? We know it is more blessed to give than receive — especially if you want to build a successful marriage.

Giving and getting
Stop and think about what you can give to your marriage today. As one anonymous person put it:

  • The more you give, the more you get.
  • The more you love, the less you fret.
  • The more you do unselfishly, the more you live abundantly.
  • The more of everything you share, the more you’ll always have to spare.
  • The more you love, the more you’ll find that life is good and friends are kind.
  • For only what we give away, enriches us from day to day.

Make a list!
Stop for a minute and reflect on specific things you can do today to give to your marriage. Maybe volunteer to do the dishes tonight? Or put the kids to bed. Or run a bubble bath for your spouse. Is there something your mate wants you to do? Then do it! Trust us, if you’re a giver instead of a taker you’ll have a better marriage!

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