Is your marriage couple-centered or child-centered? Being a parent in today’s world is an awesome responsibility. It requires all the skills we can
come up with. But building a successful marriage also requires on-the-job
skill training. In this column, marriage
experts Claudia and David Arp — founders of Marriage Alive! — share
how you can put your kids first by putting your marriage first.
We know good marriages don’t just happen. They demand an investment
of time and energy. While the need to balance the partner role with
the parent role is critical, remember that the foundation for the parenting
role is a strong marriage partnership. And remember, your partner will
be there long after your children leave the nest!
matters to kids
A child’s most basic security
is to know that his or her parents love each other. Each child unconsciously
desires to be a part of a strong, loving relationship and to know he
or she will never be abandoned.
Alicia and Ben, were planning a getaway when their son, Christian, remarked
that it just wasn’t fair for them to go the beach without him. Our clever
friends told their son that actually they were going away for “his own
good.” We’re not sure
they convinced him, but we see their point. When they returned Christian
had parents who were much more relaxed and more in love with each other.
He naturally benefited.
Do your children know that their parents really love each other? One of
the greatest things you can do for your child is to love your spouse
and let your child know it! So being a great partner will help you be
a great parent!