Wouldn’t it be nice if Love Potion No. 9 was real, and you could simply sip an elixir to be in the mood to get frisky? Well, you’re SOL on magic potions, but here are 50 other ideas, from dirty texts to R-rated adventures, that have been road-tested by sexologists and real women and are sure to get you ready to have some fun between the sheets ASAP.
1. See a fun rated-R movie that you know has great sex scenes: “Fifty Shades Darker probably will get you in the mood,” says Stef Safran, a matchmaking and dating expert in Chicago.
2. Go shopping at an adult toy store together: Even if you don’t buy anything, what’s sexier than being surrounded by sex?
3. Send a suggestive picture: “It can as simple as a picture of your cleavage or a photo of the top button of your pants unbuttoned. Even your lips blowing him or her a kiss,” says sex and relationship expert, Chrystal Bougon.
4. Dance together: “My boyfriend and I are a little old to be at the club until 5 a.m., so we like to put on our favorite electronic music and create our own ‘club’ in his living room. Best part about this is clothing is optional,” says Paige, 41, of Philadelphia.
5. Blindfold your S.O.: “Removing sight heightens other senses and forces you to anticipate the unexpected and use your imagination,” says sexologist and author of Sex in South Beach, Dr. Sonjia Kenya.
6. Go and get a professional bikini wax: If you really want to spoil them, Safran says, “Ask your partner what type of style they want.”
7. Go back and read old flirty texts: “It’s really fun to re-read emails from months or years ago,” says Bougon. Reminiscing about those fun and flirty times might have you wanting to relive those first steamy romps.
8. Take a romantic vacation together: You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating: No work, bills or friend and family drama to bother you. Just you, your partner and that giant king bed that overlooks the ocean…
9. Set the stage with scent: “Lighting candles or incense can trigger the sexual desires in your brain,” says dating coach and founder of NYC Wingwoman, Cher Hubsher. Try something vanilla-scented, as it’s said to be one of the most arousing.
10. Let your S.O. know you’re wearing extra-sexy underwear: This can work wonders, whether it’s in the bedroom… or in public. “Take your undies off in the bathroom of a restaurant or movie theater and hand them to your partner calmly. Wait until you see his or her face when they see what you just handed to them,” suggests Bougon.
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11. Spice it up: A new move or two in the bedroom — or doing the same old position in a new location — can make things much hotter. “Try new sexual acts that will keep your partner reminiscing tomorrow,” says Hubsher.
12. Give an ego boost: Cheesy as it sounds, everyone loves hearing that they’re the best you’ve ever had. “Giving major compliments in bed can make a run-of-the-mill encounter unforgettable,” says Vera Vance, dating coach.
13. Read erotica together: “I’ve heard of a lot of couples who read Fifty Shades of Grey together. Some women even highlight the parts they really want to try,” says Bougon.
14. Play together: Even if it’s not sexual play, loosening up by playing pool or doing something that makes you both laugh will up your chemistry. “Couples who play together manage stress better. Having the ability to relax and be carefree will bring you closer to your partner,” says Alexandra Jamieson, author of Women, Food, and Desire
15. Work out together: Couples who sweat together now, sweat together later… in bed. (Seriously, those endorphins are likely to put you in the mood, as is feeling confident about your body when it’s fit.)
16. Make an aphrodisiac-packed dinner together: Try cooking something with chocolate, ginger or avocado. Even if the scientific merits of these foods as sex-boosters are questionable, the act of cooking is a fun bonding experience, setting you up for between-the-sheets action.
17. Play some tunes: Sexy music — or even just a playlist that makes you feel happy or relaxed — can help you unwind from a long day and set the mood for romance.
18. Try lingerie: Some people like to say, “What’s the point of lingerie if it comes off anyway?” Hello! That’s the entire point. While we’re sure your partner likes you in a jeans and T-shirt too, putting on a slinky slip will make you look and feel extra-touchable, so give it a try.
19. Give each other a lap dance: Yes, seriously. “Put on some music and give each other a private dance show — you may not even make it to the bedroom before the clothes come off,” says Hubsher.
20. Take a day trip to the sex museum: If there’s one in your city, seeing the sex acts together will inspire you to try some of your own when you get home.
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21. Prioritize date night: “That means, no kids, no couple friends and even if money is tight, trade babysitting with friends to get that alone time,” suggests Safran.
22. Don’t forget foreplay : “My boyfriend and I get extra touchy-feely around 7:30 p.m. when Wheel of Fortune is on. Since we both love the show, that’s 30 minutes of foreplay several nights a week. Thanks Vanna!” says Kathy, 34, of Glastonbury, CT.
23. You in one room, your love in another: Absence makes the desire grow fonder… even if it’s just feet away. While you’re in the bedroom and he’s in the kitchen, why not send him a sexy text, “I’m waiting for you”.
24. Be a sexy distraction: “When you’re leaving work, text or email your lover or S.O. about how hot you think they are and that you can’t wait to see them later,” says Bougon. They won’t be able to stop fantasizing about what’s about to go down when you meet up.
25. Do yoga together: Except on the mattress instead of the mat. “Follow a YouTube yoga instructor to test out each of your flexibility and see what kind of trouble you can get into,” suggests Bougon.
26. Try sex toys: It ups the fun factor in bed to have something new to try out together, especially when that something is designed to enhance both of your pleasure.
27. Have a drink or two: As long as you do it safely, “alcohol in small amounts is proven to increase your libido,” says Hubsher. Emphasis on small amounts.
28. Watch porn together: “I found some old porn DVDs at my boyfriend’s when I was helping him clean. He was pleasantly surprised when I didn’t get mad, but instead got super-horny,” says Miriam, 45, of Washington, D.C.
29. Experiment with exhibitionism: “Pick a daring place to have sex and make sure you do this every so often,” says Safran. The nerves and discomfort are part of what makes it hot.
30. Make Sunday Fun Day: “Sleep in late together on Sunday followed by TV or breakfast in bed — this is sure to spark some slow, lazy sex,” says Hubsher.
31. Undress with intent: Instead of just tossing off your sweater and kicking your pants under the bed, make undressing a striptease, in which your partner isn’t allowed to touch, only watch.
32. Get closer, literally: Sit next to each other when you’re out to dinner instead of across the table. “If you are always near each other, it subconsciously makes you both feel wanted,” says Vance.
33. Sleep naked: Go to bed sans PJs every once in awhile. Nothing will make you want to get it on more than feeling your skin pressed together.
34. Turn the heat down: Not too far down, but turn the thermostat down to the point where it’s cold enough for the two of you to need to get cuddly in order to stay warm under the covers.
35. Role play: You play teacher and your partner plays bad student, for instance. “Try something new, and take turns deciding what the scenario is — you can make each other’s fantasies come to life this way,” says Hubsher.
36. Send a naughty text message: “Send a dirty sext while they’re at work,” says Hubsher. “He or she will come home ready to rip your clothes off.”
37. Try some feathers: You can buy a feather toy at a sex store. “The subtle feeling of feathers against the skin can instantly remind us that even the faintest touch can ignite lust,” says Kenya.
38. Schedule a quickie at a hotel: Even if you don’t have a trip planned, spending a night or afternoon in a hotel can make you feel like you’re stepping out of your normal life, which is hot. “If you need a reference, watch the PG version on Modern Family when Claire and Phil did the same thing,” says Safran.
39. Play sex games: Try naked twister, strip poker… just to name a few.
40. Make a coupon book: “I gave my girlfriend a kinky coupon book with ‘deals’ like ‘one free backrub’ and ’10 min make-out session.’ Needless to say, they all lead to more sex,” says Dylan, 35, of San Francisco.
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41. Cook with chili peppers: “They stimulate endorphins, which make you feel more aroused,” says Hubsher.
42. Create a fantasy: “Don’t wear any underwear and tell your partner about it,” says Safran. Or tell him or her exactly what you plan to do to them later.
43. Take some space: That old saying about absence making the heart grow fonder? The same goes for your sex drive. “Take a weekend trip away with your friends, and when you return, sex will definitely follow,” says Hubsher.
44. Prioritize your partner: “Make sure your moves are working and giving your S.O. pleasure, and he or she will be thinking about it for days to come — no pun intended,” says Hubsher.
45. Eat some dark chocolate. It’s been shown to boost happiness, and when your moods are lifted, so is something else.
46. Take it outside the bedroom: If your partner is looking appetizing while cooking your favorite pasta dish, why not get busy in the kitchen? You’ve got at least five minutes for that water to boil!
47. Run a romantic bubble bath: Tub not big enough? Even better.
48. Make dessert together: “Dim the lights, add candles and save a little extra whipped cream for after,” says Hubsher.
49. Set a schedule: “This may sound silly, but if it’s set into your daily routine, you’ll have more sex, more often,” says Hubsher. “Plus, the more sex you have, the more sex you want, so it’s a positively reinforcing cycle…”
50. Show off your skills: “I’ve been a figure skater my whole life, so when I showed off my spins and jumps to my partner at the rink, it turned him on to see my talent and confidence,” says Rachel, 33 of West Hartford, CT.
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