I’m 29, and I’m getting my tubes tied. It’s happening. I’ve had some mixed reactions from people, so I thought I’d explain my reasoning behind this somewhat permanent decision.
I struggle with some serious mental health issues that have plagued me since I was 15. I just found a medication combination that keeps me stable, happy, and able to live my life. When I don’t take my medication, I cry all the time. I’m angrier, impatient, and generally an un-fun person to be around. When I get pregnant, I get crazier. Medications need to be adjusted and hormones need to be dealt with. Then after the pregnancy, I’m prone to postpartum depression, which makes that 6 months of my life a roller coaster of nonsense. It’s a whole lot of crazy that strains my relationships with others and makes my life miserable. This is the main reasoning behind my decision.
On top of that, I can’t trust birth control. I was ON birth control when I got pregnant with baby Wallace. He must have really needed to come into the world. So now I’m much more wary of traditional birth control. I know the chances of it happening again are probably mind-numbingly slim, but I’d just rather not take that chance. We really can’t afford any more children. Money is a factor in most of our life decisions, and we honestly do not feel it would be fiscally responsible for us to have another child. That’s just our situation. I am sure it would probably work out if we felt strongly that we needed to have another child but, as you might already assume, I have not had that strong feeling.
I’m not saying every 29-year-old should run out and get this procedure. I’m saying that it’s what I feel is right for me and my body. Pregnancy is hard for me, mentally and physically. None of my pregnancies have been easy ones, and this last one was especially difficult. I wanted smooth pregnancies so badly, but they just weren’t in my cards.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my children. I’m grateful every single one is in my life, both here and in heaven. I wouldn’t give them up for the world. But I feel as if they are my world now and our family is complete. I don’t feel any angst or stupor about this decision. I feel relieved and excited for the next chapter of my life. I feel like I can jump into parenting with both feet knowing that I don’t have to wonder if someday I will have to go through the pain and stress of another pregnancy. It’s actually a pretty liberating feeling.
This piece was originally published on BlogHer.