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If you care how many people I’ve slept with, we’re doomed

So the optimum “magic number” of previous sexual partners has been revealed in a new study. If you’ve been on tenterhooks waiting for this… the wait is over. It’s 12.

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And what’s so magic about this number? Well, if you’ve had more than 12 sexual partners, the next person you meet ain’t gonna want to know you. Or maybe they’ll become number 13, but then make a sharp exit because you just don’t have that long-term relationship potential, you know?

Yes, it’s yet another of those scary “studies” that make many of us frantically create a mental tally sheet, then decide to knock a few off to make us feel less like, well, total sluts.

According to online dating site Match, if you’ve had more than 23 sexual partners or fewer than three, you’re less desirable to potential lovers. This makes 12 the optimum number. Men are the more open-minded sex: happy for women to have an optimum number of 15 compared to 10 for the ladies.

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Brits are more permissive than the Dutch and Italians, but less than the French, Germans, Spaniards and the Danes (the latter are the most liberal lovers, claiming not to be put off by someone unless their sexual past included more than 40 partners.) 

I’d happily disclose my magic number to any potential partner who asked. For others, it’s strictly a private matter and should remain that way; nobody has the right to demand to know details of your sex life. If someone had a problem with the number of people I’ve slept with, I’d sure as hell not be adding their name to the list.

A person’s worth — as a sexual partner or something more — is about so much more than numbers. Having a large number of previous partners doesn’t make someone loose or afraid of commitment. And a small number doesn’t equal a lack of experience. However, judging someone on either of those things suggests you need to open your mind a little.

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