Fancy your latte with a side of orgasm? There’s a café for that

Fancy a coffee at the Fellatio Café this weekend?

Not a question we’d expect to hear, but if one businessman gets his way, London will shortly be home to its first ever oral sex coffee shop, which makes the capital’s naked restaurant seem positively vanilla. It’s exactly what it says on the tin: Customers can order their usual hot drinks and snacks and enjoy a little, um, personal attention at the same time.

As the website says, “Drinking your coffee while getting relaxed by a wonderful hostess is not a dream!”

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Founder Bradley Charvet has his sights set on Paddington for the first branch of the Fellatio Café and says he is “happy this will be a legal business in the U.K., which is nice because it will be organised and controlled.” Perhaps Charvet knows something we don’t, because he dismisses the legal barriers to opening as “some details.”

A cheap coffee and “extra services” (courtesy of an escort) will cost £50.

While a large question mark still hangs over the fate of the London café, Europe’s first fellatio café is expected to open in Geneva in December, modeled on similar businesses in Thailand. Prostitution is legal in Geneva (and has de facto legality in Thailand), but the law is much tighter in the U.K. Selling sex is not illegal, but it’s against the law to pimp or run a brothel, which is where the London café could run into trouble when trying to obtain a licence.

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If you’re picturing a café full of tables and chairs and guys getting head, well, that’s pretty spot on. It doesn’t sound like the Fellatio Café will look any different to a regular (non-sexualised) café, apart from a couple of booths for “shy guys.” Oh, and decor will be white, black and pink with baroque-style chairs.

While there’s plenty of opposition to the plans, some have welcomed the prospect of London’s first fellatio café, such as Charlotte Rose, a prominent sex worker and activist.

“I think anything coming up in today’s society with more positivity for sexual liberation is great as far as I’m concerned,” said Rose. “At the end of the day, if you’re not happy about it, don’t go in there.”

If you’re wondering what appeal the Fellatio Café has to the 50 percent of the coffee-drinking population who can’t get a blow job, panic not. The managers assure us that they “also believe in your enjoyment” and are considering a service for female customers.

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