SUB: I got naked in the middle of San Francisco to take back my sense of self.
“Normal” people don’t do it. Prude people would be appalled. With enough drinks, 20-something’s might do it on a dare. So why did I, a 40-year-old respected professional, loving mother and devoted wife, hail a cab while naked? I NEEDED IT.
Like many of us hard-working moms, I put myself last. I focused on pleasing everyone but myself. After doing that for many years, I felt blah. Who was I anymore?
My ex made it clear that my looks were not something he was proud of and that I could never be enough for him, no matter how well I did all the “wife and mother” duties.
Although I would never wish divorce on anyone, mine was a turning point for me, and a good one.
At first, I focused on God and continuing to be a good mother for my kids.
But eventually I started thinking about what I needed. I started dating with a very clear picture of what I wanted in a partner. Never again would I live life “going through the motions.” I needed a partner who felt the same and shared the same values.
Once I found that (in my now husband), life changed. I changed. But somehow, I needed to prove to myself how strong and wonderful I had become.
So one night, when we were traveling together in San Francisco, we were leaving a restaurant and needed a cab ride back to our hotel. We had a few drinks and I remember thinking I should just hail a cab while naked. It’s not really “me,” but I wonder if I can do it?
Then, right there, in the heart of the city, I took off all my clothes. Everything. It felt liberating! I stood on a curb in the busy city — bare, vulnerable, staring at my husband as if to say, “Am I crazy?” We were both laughing and he was shocked.
My heart was pounding. I thought of my imperfections, the marks from having children, and for a split second, I thought, OK, I did enough. That was brave. I’ll just slip my clothes back on and laugh it off. But then I turned the other way, faced the street and raised my hand proud and high.
It was the fastest we’ve ever had a cab stop. He almost locked up his brakes! He asked where we needed to go as if he didn’t notice I was naked. The answer: anywhere. The feeling set me free. If I could do that, I could do anything. And the look on my husband’s face told me I was with the right partner.
Would I do it again? I’m not sure. I don’t need to anymore, but I’m certainly not opposed.
My heart is full. I am unashamed. I am someone I am proud of, and I am more confident and happy than I’ve ever been.
So in the end, this article is not really about hailing a cab while naked but about having the courage to do something the “other you” would’ve never done.
No matter how big or small (or crazy), it’s finding something that embodies your strength and screams, “I am confident and happy with me.”
What is your version of “hailing a cab while naked”?