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Confessions of a long-time Diva Cup user

I’ve been using a Diva Cup for so long that I’ve kind of forgotten what periods were like before them. As much as I love mine, they’re not perfect, and I think it’s time we get honest about what using them is really like.

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1. You might need to trim it first

Diva Cups have a tip with ridges to help you take it out later, but sometimes the tip is too long. I had to trim mine by a quarter of an inch before it stopped irritating my nether regions.

2. Even when you get used to it, it’s still gonna leak

I’ve been using a Diva Cup for over five years. I still run into problems where midway through the day I find myself scrubbing my underwear in the sink. It’s not because the cup overfloweth so much as it’s because the cup gets tilted in the wrong way. For example, if I sit especially slothfully on the couch, lay in bed too long on the weekend and start doing yoga twists, or just don’t quite get the suction right, leakages, uh, happen. But the same thing used to happen to me with tampons, so who am I to complain?

3. Pooping is a game of roulette

No, the cup has never actually come out while squatting, but it’s been close enough that I take the possibility into consideration. I’ll either take it out beforehand or play offense with the tip of the cup.

4. When it “pops” open, it’s a little uncomfortable

Like a milder version of one of those brightly colored rubber poppers you loved as a kid, but inside your vagina.

5. Sometimes the alignment will be off

When you first put the cup in, your muscles or aim could tilt it to the side, but you might not notice until, say, you get back to your desk, where you then have to wiggle your hips in your seat to try to get it to set right. I’ve heard it recommended to do squats after inserting to position it right, but where’s the fun in that?

6. You might regret trimming your nails

Look, it’s never ever gotten “lost” (y’all need to spend more time exploring your genitalia), but I have made the mistake of cutting my nails super short during that time of the month and had to spend more time/effort/dexterity getting my grip to take it out. Pro tip: Pinching the cup itself to release the suction is KEY.

7. Public bathrooms aren’t a problem because… I don’t clean it every time

Pop it out, empty it, stick it back in. JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED.

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8. Your hands will get bloody sometimes

If I’m washing my hands in public, I’ll wipe them on toilet paper first so as not to scare anybody.

9. You should probably empty it before exercise

Best not tempt the gods.

10. You’re gonna need to give it a good scrub every once in a while

Although it’ll probably never stay as clean and clear as when it first comes fresh out of the box.

11. You’ll completely forget that periods used to smell

It wasn’t until I read another article on menstrual cups that I remembered that iron-y stench that used to build up in the bathroom trash can for a week. You’ll also forget what it was like having to drop your hard-earned cash every month to resupply or to be on the toilet and realize you’re out of gear. But your period still might sneak up on you, and you may find yourself tapping co-workers on the shoulder to ask for a tampon.

12. IDK, turning your toilet water ruby red is a little bit fun?

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Diva Cup
Image: SheKnows

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