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Everyone cares way too much about Serena Williams’ nipples

As Serena Williams competed in the quarter-finals at Wimbledon with her 22nd major career win in sight, people couldn’t stop talking about her revealing top. And by revealing, I mean a little THO. Nipples, people. We’re talking about nipples here. Look around the room you’re in; every woman there has a pair. Some may even have a spare. Hey, the world is a crazy place nowadays.

Crazy as it may be, one thing I know for sure is that nipples are so common (at least as common as all those twigs and berries bulging from running shorts) that, in your adult life, they really shouldn’t be distracting. Still, as one of many tweeters so kindly pointed out, nipples are controversial. How dare Williams let the outline of her anatomy be revealed?

If nipples are offending you or distracting you, I can only imagine what it’s like for you in the real world. Your mother did not prepare you for all the lions and tigers and bears that go boo in the night. So you’re scared, I get it. But nipples won’t hurt you. In fact, they fed you and nurtured you and allowed you to grow. They deserve to exist in peace and quiet.

Even women seem to be offended, as if their own nipples are perfect angels who always do what they’re told and never miss curfew. For the record, a proper bra can be very hard to find.
If you’re watching one of the greatest tennis players of all time in her element and all you can see is her nipples, it’s time to take a long, hard look at something else. Your priorities and morals, for one. Maybe a book on how to control your nipple trigger. Give Williams something to cover up her nipples, you say? So they don’t distract you? Sorry, she’s too busy trying to win her seventh Wimbledon title.

There are bigger fish to fry in this world. So you saw some nipples? Pat yourself on the back, and watch the game. As Williams prepares to play in her 28th Grand Slam final, let’s see if we can avoid harping on her for being a human.

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