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Quit calling Taylor Swift a failure simply because she’s single again

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock this week — and whether or not you really couldn’t care less — you’ll have heard that Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris have split up after about a year of dating.

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Naturally, all eyes are on the former couple — or at least their social media accounts. What’s he tweeting? Why did she post that on Instagram? What image or word or like or unfollow can we use to jump to wildly inaccurate conclusions? Global megastars never get any privacy, but when there’s a breakup involved, it must feel as if they’re being pecked at by big, nasty, nosy, obsessive birds.

Inevitably, it’s Swift who’s being talked about in the media the most. Headlines such as “Why CAN’T the stunning chart-topper hang on to a man?” and “Just why can’t Taylor Swift make her romances last?” are predicable as hell, but that doesn’t make them any easier to read.

Weren’t there two people in this relationship and, therefore, the breakup? Last time we checked, Harris was very much present in this pairing, cavorting in swimming pools on inflatable birds and posting loved-up holiday pics on Instagram.

Equally predictable are the rumors that Swift wanted to get engaged, with one publication reporting that she was “starting to pressure Calvin into walking down the aisle, and he just felt he wasn’t ready yet.” Nobody apart from the couple and their closest confidantes know why the relationship ended, but if it was because Swift wanted more of a commitment, well, so friggin’ what? Why can’t the headline be, “Commitment-phobe Harris puts his career before his talented, beautiful girlfriend”? That would never happen because Swift is the woman and, of course, she drove the man away with her insistence he put a ring on it. There’s no other possible explanation, right?

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Yes, Swift has had a few boyfriends. Um, she’s 26. She has plenty of time to “hold onto a man.” The common thread throughout the abundance of rumors relating to every one of her breakups is that it’s hard to maintain a relationship when you’re such a big star. Well, that goes without saying. It must be a nightmare to be on a date and have 429 people interrupting your dinner to ask for a selfie. But it is possible to make it work. Dozens of big names have proved this.

Perhaps the reason every one of Swift’s previous relationships failed is simply that they weren’t working? That could be for a multitude of reasons, all of which — the pressures of international stardom aside — apply to every single couple throughout the world. She’s bored. He’s met someone else. She doesn’t support his ambitions. He hates her friends. The list goes on and on. And, of course, sometimes it just doesn’t work because it just doesn’t work. Whether the feeling is mutual or not, sometimes you just get that gut feeling that it’s time to go your separate ways.

Of course people want to know why Swift and Harris broke up. We’re nosy as hell, and witnessing gorgeous, rich, super successful young stars go through relationship difficulties can be comforting: They’re human after all. But if we’re going to demand to know why Swift can’t make a relationship work, we should be asking exactly the same of Harris. He’s single again too, right?

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