You know how when you’re first experimenting with sex, you go through the list of sexual things you can do that definitely won’t get you pregnant? Anal sex was always on my list, along with fingering, oral and dry humping. Well, it looks like I’m going to have to take it off my list, because some woman managed to get herself pregnant by having anal sex.
OK, it is very, very rare, but according to one medical professional’s experience, it can happen. Dr. Brian Steixner, a urologist at the Jersey Urology Group in Atlantic City, revealed that one of his patients did in fact get pregnant this way because she has what’s called cloacal malformation. Essentially what this means is you have underdeveloped lower organs, meaning your urinary tract, vagina and rectum all merge together at one point or another. Due to this “organ bottleneck,” as I’m going to call it, the intersecting channels can allow incoming fluids from one area to move seamlessly into another.
However, in the case of this particular woman, she thought she had rectified the problem when she was younger. She had surgery to stop the organ traffic jams, but what she didn’t realize is that there was a not-so-minor complication that occurred — namely, a hole was punched between her womb and her rectum. And if you think this created some other disturbing problems for her, you’re right.
Her “blind-ending vagina” caused her to bleed from her rectum during her period. You’d think this might make her rethink the success of her surgery and go see a doctor, but apparently she didn’t — that is, until she got pregnant… by having anal sex.
“We knew about her condition, and we had followed her for a decade,” said Dr. Steixner to Men’s Health. “After doing a whole bunch of X-rays, we determined that she got pregnant from having anal sex.”
Of course, this led to a lot of gynecological questions — most important, how in the hell would she give birth? Would it be the largest bowel movement of all time? Fortunately her OB-GYN realized birth via rectum was not a good plan, so they scheduled her for a C-section. Apparently she had the baby, the internal issue was fixed, and all was once again right with the world.
However, we’re left with an important lesson. Although rare (1 out of 50,000 people rare), it is possible to get pregnant from having anal sex. So I’m sorry, anyone who thought that was a safe, guaranteed pregnancy-free route to take. Hopefully one good thing that will come from this newfound knowledge is an overall decreased rate of STDs.