Celebrity couple Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton appeared to have a quick transition from their own divorces to new couple when they were photographed for the first time back in November 2015. Now in spring 2016 it seems like they are still going strong. I have a few thoughts on how people who have been in Gwen and Blake’s similar situation after a breakup can move on so quickly. And can these rebound relationships last?
Why do some people move on faster than others? It comes down to a few different concepts that answer why we can love, lose love and love again so fast.
1. A relationship does not just end on the day the two people break up
I would guess most relationships or marriages ended long before one person begins the breakup process. It makes sense that cracks might have been occurring in the relationship, even if one person did not notice it or the other person did not communicate the problems until the breakup. One half of the couple might be caught off guard when their former partner moves on quickly.
2. Emotional resistance or awareness might be different for each partner
Maybe one person finds moving on quickly after a breakup to be helpful, while the other would rather take time for themselves. Someone who knows themselves well will be able to determine the best timeline for healing after a breakup. If someone already knew earlier that the relationship was not going to make it long term, they may have checked out emotionally instead of communicating in a healthy way to their partner.
3. Coincidence might bring the right person into your life
It might be possible that one half of the couple coincidentally meets someone new soon after. Life sometimes just happens and a new relationship might show up soon after an old one ends — maybe because someone is open to it. I think that happens especially if the person has already moved on from the relationship before the actual breakup.
4. The relationship was emotionally finished before the breakup
Unfortunately, if one person can move on quickly after a breakup, it might be that he or she was ready to move on before the breakup even began.
5. Some people like to be in relationships and prefer jumping into something new rather than taking time alone
As a therapist, I would recommend having a process to heal your old emotional wounds if you feel that it would help before moving on to another relationship: journaling, therapy, art or other coping tools will help the healing process. But only you can determine what you feel is right for you.
Relationships bring us joy, but they also bring sadness as breakups occur. The important thing is to not focus too much on what the other person is doing after a breakup, but to instead work on what helps you to feel better, whether it is to find a new relationship or spend time alone. Enjoy the process and learn from your mistakes of the past and make changes if you need to.
Relationships can be a roller coaster of emotional experience, but it is most helpful to focus on the positive aspects and to keep your attention there. The best thing is not to judge time and to focus on positive relationship skills so that the relationship can last.