Tired of meeting the same three guys on Tinder? The one who just wants to have sex, the one who says he wants a relationship but really just wants sex and the one who completely ignores your age requirements and expresses interest in you despite being old enough to have conceived you?
Ready to try your love luck with a celebrity?
Now is your chance because celebs have their own personal version of Twitter and it’s open to anyone who meets a set of insanely specific requirements. Say hello to Raya, a private, membership-only dating app that carefully vets all potential users to ensure they’re hot, wealthy or Internet-famous enough to date the likes of Joe Jonas and Ruby Rose (yes, seriously).
If you want to put your name and face in the running for a real dating adventure, one that could even involve paparazzi, the first thing you’ll need to do is fill out an application on Raya to find out whether you have the goods. And, by goods, I mean Instagram followers. As you might suspect, Raya’s number one concern is protecting the privacy of its many famous users, which means you have to be able to prove you’re not a crazy stalker by providing your Instagram credentials upfront. Raya will check out your profile picture and biography, but will also be taking a good, hard look at your followers, which means you may want to drop @starf*ker1995 before you proceed (apologies if that name actually exists. I’m sure you are a perfectly nice person). Are any of your followers in show business? Are they “important” people? No doubt this will help further your application process.
In addition to needing the good looks, creative professional resume and social media fame to make it past Raya’s velvet ropes, being in cahoots with someone who already has a Raya profile and can recommend you will help usher you through the door a lot faster. So will working as a model, DJ, photographer, record label employee or advertising executive.
Since anonymity is the name of the game on Raya, if you happen to be accepted to the dating app (bless your creative, gorgeous heart), you absolutely cannot do things like take screenshot captions of Moby’s page to show off to your friends at brunch. Committing this celeb dating app crime will result in an alert and threat and you will be kicked out of the club, should you foolishly post the photo online. Because of the high level of secrecy, however, it’s difficult to say which celebs are actually using Raya. Rumor has it Jonas, Rose and celebs like Cara Delevingne and Cody Simpson have Raya profiles — whether they’ve used them to hook up with “strangers” (note: who are probably connected with them through friends of friends and aren’t actually strangers at all), well, who is going to risk their Raya account to ‘fess up to it?
Before we bash Raya as an elitist app that is trying to keep John Cusack from meeting and falling in love with us, think about how seldom you log on to Tinder to find matches that you actually want to meet for coffee. Perhaps the wave of the future is dating services that offer exclusivity so you can more readily find someone with whom you can truly connect.
If you happen to find yourself a member of Raya royalty anytime soon and are able to sneak a screenshot, your secret is safe with us.