Ah, Kanye West. So much more than a Kardashian baby daddy and instigator of bizarre Twitter feuds. The one we know as Yeezus may now be able to add cupid to his long list of awe-inspiring attributes.
One British writer decided to set herself a Kanye-themed Tinder challenge. The rules were simple: She would communicate using only quotes from Kanye West (quotes to include song lyrics, tweets and interview quotes); and she would use her regular Tinder profile picture — to make sure nobody swiped on her because they actually thought she was Kanye.
Would the experiment get her any Tinder dates?
It wasn’t all plain sailing. Starting a Tinder conversation with “I have so much love in my heart” resulted in, well… silence. As did “I believe in us” and “I care about our future.”
It also appears that the more eccentric of West’s musings — “visiting my mind is like visit the Hermés factory” — aren’t the best Tinder icebreakers.
But, as anyone who has ever swiped right knows, what will help you achieve your Tinder goals is perseverance. (Presumably Kanye knows a little bit about that, too.)
And the efforts finally began to pay off, with a slight change of approach.
Take it down a notch, find a Kanye quote that an ordinary person would actually say, and it could be the start of a beautiful online relationship. Did you know Kanye was “super inspired” by his “visit to Ikea?” Unfortunately, that wasn’t a conversation that could go anywhere — on this planet, at least — because those kind of Kanye quotes are few and far between. “I am ultra light beaming right now” is much more likely to spill from his lips or his fingertips.
Of course, not all attention is good attention. This is Tinder, after all, so it’s no surprise that one guy took “my apartment is too nice to listen to rap in” as a personal invitation to said apartment, and you won’t win any prizes for guessing what the general reaction to “good pussy is fleeting” was.
It turned out it was possible to get a date — several, in fact — on Tinder using only Kanye West quotes, but impossible to ever actually go on it, because to actually arrange the date using non-quotes would break the rules.
So there you have it. You thought there was no way Kanye West could bring anything to your life, but his back catalogue of quotes is there for the picking. Maybe he wasn’t so wrong when he called himself “the people’s champ” after all. Could one of his crazy-genius quotables bring you the kind of love only Kim Kardashian knows exists?