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Woman files police report after date farts in her apartment

People do weird things when they get rejected, but a guy in Sweden took things to a smelly new low.

According to The Local, a Swedish man visited a woman’s apartment one Sunday with the expectation of sex. Apparently, she agreed to get down but later changed her mind.

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What would normal dudes do? They’d solemnly yet maturely slink back to the friend zone. Not this guy. He did leave, but on the way out, he gave her a parting gift in the form of a loud, smelly fart.

Not to be outdone, the woman then called police in Laholm, Sweden, to report that the fart was “disturbing.”

“It smelled very bad in the apartment,” read the police report, according to The Local.

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A couple things: First, good for her. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary and, to be honest, the person living in the house should be the only person allowed to stink up the joint.

Second — really, dude? A fart? You didn’t really think this one through. It might have felt great to let one rip, but you know she told everyone about it. Now you’re known as The Fart Guy all around town. It’s not as bad as being The Nice Guy but, you know, still not the nickname you want.

To be honest, I’d rather have a guy fart in my place than, say, send dozens of psychotic texts, but whatever happened to dignity? Just do what mature people do: Take the rejection in stride, realize there are more fish in the sea… and then fart right outside the door. Gotta relieve those pent-up emotions somehow.

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