Spring is a many-splendored thing, bringing warmer days, fragrant flowers, pretty sundresses, and most important: your wild and crazy Aries friends’ birthdays. The fun begins on March 21 at the vernal equinox, which is also the first day of the astrological calendar.
Aries are feisty, fierce and incredibly fast (sometimes too fast for their own good). As the first fire sign of the zodiac, they must always do, be and see everything immediately. There is no room for waiting, ever. As its ruling element dictates, this constellation is scorchingly hot under the collar, especially when things — or relationships — are moving too slowly. Yet you really don’t want to throw any water on this particular conflagration because even if you’re going to get burned, at least you’ll have a blast while doing it. And when I say doing it, I mean doing it — a whole hell of a lot.
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If you want to take this sign on as a lover, you must be ready — and you’d better not be passive. I know from whence I speak because I’m an Aries through and through.
Ready to enter the ring of fire? Here are eight things to know about dating an Aries.
1. Aries are generally not shy
Even if they think they’re shy, there will be some sense of immediacy about them. Something bold, direct, unavoidable and in-your-face. You can pick an Aries out of a crowd easily — they’re the one you can’t look away from. At parties, scan for the person dancing like no one is watching. There’s a really good chance that he/she is a ram.
2. Act fast
If you have a crush on an Aries and are weighing the pros and cons of going for it, you’ve already wasted too much time. One essential life lesson that this sign can teach is this: Life is short, so you must pounce while the iron is hot.
3. Just like puppies and toddlers, you have to run your Aries around to get all that wild energy out of them
An Aries that hasn’t been properly exercised will toss and turn all night, making you miserable. So send your Aries off to the gym, especially if they’ve been sitting around on the Internet. They don’t call us RAMbunctious for nothing.
4. They have (sexual) appetites
Both male and female Aries are sexually voracious and expect to be able to get their needs met on demand. Need a libido or confidence boost? Your Aries lover will not be able to take their hands off you. They’ll make you feel more attractive at a visceral level, even if they don’t heap on the compliments verbally. However, if you lack stamina, you might want to move onto the next sign. Special bonus: If you want to lose weight this season, dating an Aries can get you there faster because they will happily help you burn calories while naked.
5. As debating virtuosos, Aries like to fight before f***ing
It’s pretty self-explanatory. Don’t worry if it seems like your Aries is getting all huffy about something inconsequential — the makeup session will be well worth it. Note that they can go from 0 – 60 on the anger scale in an astonishingly short amount of time.
6. As quickly as your Aries lover’s temper rose in the first place, they’ll forget what you were originally fighting about
Hint: You can always mute their anger mid-argument by just reaching for their genitals. Note that male Aries require almost no foreplay whatsoever, except in the case of fighting as foreplay type described above. One of my exes told me that my nipples were like volume controls to him — if he touched one in the middle of an argument, I instantly forgot why I was yelling. During a political debate with another guy over dinner, he looked at me and said, “I can’t tell whether you want to rip my head off or have sex with me right now.” I was like, duh, both. We Aries are pretty simple in this department. But when you’re not in the mood to get frisky and just need to calm your Aries down, try massaging their head or rubbing their temples — that’s another quick fix.
7. They’re not the best in the sensuality department (mostly the dudes)
This means if you’re a Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn, you might have to teach your partner a thing or two about slowing down and breathing in bed. They like to have a lot of sex, but it won’t always last as long as you might hope. But have no fear! They can be trained.
8. They fight until the finish
On the rare occasions that an argument doesn’t escalate into a naked throw-down, be ready to let them win once in a while — even if you’re right. It can be extremely exhausting to litigate the details when your opponent will not lower his sword under any circumstances but there is nothing that makes an Aries more depressed than losing a battle of the wits. A dejected Aries is a sad sight to behold — you want your feisty little fire-starter to keep their unbridled enthusiasm flowing at all times.
As frustrating as it can be to date, live with or marry someone this hot-tempered, the payoff is worth it — in pure passion. An Aries will love you until the end of time and give you every ounce of their heart and soul. If you’re over the boring, tepid types you’ve previously swiped right for, find yourself an Aries and never let go.