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The best advice two love experts have for long-term relationships

To celebrate February — the month of looooove — we’ve put together a series of Twitter chats on relationships, sex, dating and more. The first was Thursday, Feb. 4, and we brought two love experts — psychologist Dr. Deborah Bernstein and relationship vlogger Tonya Tko — together to talk about long-term relationships and what makes them tick.

Many of the questions asked by members of our Experts Among Us community seemed to strike a nerve. Here is some of the top advice that came out of the chat.

Is your significant other entitled to your social-media passwords in a committed relationship?

The word entitled is problematic. There should be both an absence of secrets and respect of privacy. — Dr. Deborah Bernstein

I’m nervous about telling my family I met my spouse through online dating. Any advice?

So you’re nervous. Take a deep breath and say the words! Nervousness is never a good excuse for avoidance or dishonesty. — Bernstein

How do you spend time with your partner without neglecting your girlfriends?

Women often pour themselves totally into their men, to their detriment. Think of men like a campfire — air is ncessary. — Tonya Tko

My teens will be out of the house in a few years. What can I do now to help my marriage adjust to an empty nest?

Go on dates, trips, spend some time together not focused on kids. Talk about future plans.  — Bernstein

Remember why you fell in Love. Get back to being woman and man instead of mom and dad. Reintroduce yourselves. — Tko

When do you know it’s time to leave a relationship?

When who you CHOOSE to be is no longer the person right for that union; when the willingness of both to grow stagnates; when you recognize the relationship to no longer be the truth of who you are or have become; when you choose to. — Tko

Couples vacationing separately: Yay or nay?

As long as couples also have good times together and support each other’s interests, it can be great. — Bernstein

How much “me-time” should each person in a relationship take?

As much as they need or want! The person who needs the most always sets the amount. — Bernstein

More great advice that came out of the chat:

You must return to the source of YOU. Remember who you are, tap into that. You are love. You must just remember. — Tko

Communication is key for a healthy relationship. We are 365 days times 20+ years of experiences. No two people are identical. Talk openly and honestly. — Tko

SheKnows Experts “Love” Twitter chats are every Thursday in February from noon to 1 p.m. ET on @sheknows. Join in with #SKExperts!

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