For many women, feminism is the spine of their identity and how they carry themselves throughout professional, personal and political environments, but how about the dating arena?
Shared values is one of the prime reasons romance blooms, and for many modern women, filtering through the heaps of accidental misogynists to find a man who believes in absolute gender equality can be exhausting. But positive PSA: Feminist men do exist.
Here are five telltale signs to assist your feminist radar:
1. He is absolutely fine with the 50/50 rule
The only scenario where the words “make me a sandwich” are acceptable is when both of you demand sandwiches equally from the other. It’s perfectly fine to take care of your other half, but the duty has to be reciprocated by the other party. A man who isn’t afraid to channel his inner Jamie Oliver in the kitchen or to tidy up the house is a catch.
2. He supports your career and never puts his in front of yours
He understands and supports your desire to climb ladders. He admires your ambition. The man you’re with should support your passions and empower you to reach your goals. It’s quite simple: Never choose a man who dares to put a foot between you and your dreams — he will never be worth it.
3. He knows your orgasm is just as important as his
If he is one of those types that believes his penis is the star of the show and your orgasm is secondary, bye Felicia. While it isn’t as easy for a woman to reach a climax, our need to orgasm is by no means less important. A man who is attentive to your sexual hot spots and will do everything to push you to the peak (rather than fall asleep after he’s satisfied) is enlightened.
4. He never puts you down
Belittling of any sort is a huge, waving red flag and probably roots back to an unhealthy example he had growing up, which isn’t always his fault. If this happens and he doesn’t correct the behavior immediately, you can’t change him. Find a man who boosts your confidence and healthy ego at every opportunity.
5. He asks if you want kids (not when you plan to have them)
Wanting to have kids is a beautiful decision but no more so amazing than the decision to focus on other things in life that bring you happiness. The assumption that every woman is born with a fierce maternal instinct is an archaic notion. Even if you’re monitoring your fertile windows religiously, finding a man who respects you enough to ask what you want goes the extra feminist mile.