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Bronx Zoo wants you to ‘name a cockroach’ in honor of your Valentine

Diamonds might be forever, but cockroaches will outlast a nuclear attack. Which do you want to symbolize your love?

The roaches, obviously.

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Lucky for you, The Bronx Zoo wants to help. The New York City landmark just announced it’s bringing back its popular “Name a Roach” promotion in time for Valentine’s Day. For $10, the zoo will name one of its Madagascar hissing cockroaches after your sweetie and then send you a digital certificate to give on Feb. 14.

Want to up the ante? For $25, you’ll get the naming rights to a roach, the certificate and some chocolate “made with love” by the Nunu Chocolate Company in Brooklyn.

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“Tens of thousands of roaches remain nameless and would make a great symbol of your love,” the Bronx Zoo wrote on the official ordering page.

“Your donation will also help us protect these misunderstood love bugs, along with a lot of other animals, both big and small.”

That’s reason enough to buy in on this promotion, but just one question: What happens if you break up. Do you get some sort of joint custody of the hissing cockroach, like your ex will get the certificate on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and alternating Sundays, while you get it the rest of the time? This seems like something that needs to be seriously discussed before you plunk down the $10.

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