Think you can guess which sex fantasies keep men up at night? You might be surprised at what you learn.
Ask a random selection of women to guess what their husband or boyfriend’s secret sex fantasies are and you might find, as I did, that we all suspect more or less the same things: a threesome with another woman, anal sex and a threesome with another woman that involves anal sex.
I’d never want to deny men their hot lesbian or two-on-one fantasies, but you might be shocked to find out that some men are imagining scenarios that are either a lot less tame or 100 times more creative than these. These six sex fantasies, provided by six different men, give us a glimpse into the secret sexual desires of the opposite sex that we might be overlooking.
1. Being desired
Much of the time, guys are expected to instigate when it comes to sex and foreplay. As a result, some men rarely have any idea of what it’s like to feel wanted and sexually desired, which is unbelievably sad! One man admitted to me that his sex fantasy is to be the object of sexual conquest — for a woman to throw herself at him in a public place because she’s “too horny to think straight” and wants him in her right now.
2. Being taken advantage of by an older woman
Movies and popular culture teach us that men only want to have sex with 25-year-old women, which is narrow-minded and false. One male sex fantasy involves a sexy older woman pursuing a man for no other purpose than to take advantage of him sexually and turn him into her personal sex slave.
3. Having sex with a strap-on penis
Submissive fantasies were a common theme among many of the men I questioned, and all agreed that this has everything to do with society’s expectation that they be dominant in all areas of their lives. As a result, some find it freeing and sexy to be a “bottom” in a sexual encounter that involves a woman and a strap-on penis.
4. Being forced to give her oral sex
Here’s another take on the submissive role: Instead of having sex with a strap-on, some men would really just love it if a woman climbed on top of him, pulled down her pants, and “forced” him to give her oral sex like a “porn star.”
5. Slave/rape fantasies
We all know that women sometimes have fantasies about forced sex. It doesn’t mean they actually want to be raped. Not at all. We need to make that clear. But in a consensual context, playing with the idea of “force” can be a turn-on for both men and women alike. One man I spoke with says he and his partner are planning on taking their mutual rape fantasy to the next level: She is going to take sleeping pills and try to stay awake while he initiates a “rape” scene. This is not something anyone should try without mutual consent, natch.
6. Straight-up romance
I saved the sweetest (but saddest) one for last: One guy revealed that men are often thought of as prehistoric creatures who aren’t interested in or even able to comprehend romance. In his case, he says nothing gets him off more than putting candles in glass jars on the floor around the bed he shares with his girlfriend before sex, or going on a date and dancing slowly together, or even sharing in her “wedding fantasies,” complete with what he calls “super hot” white dresses, oaths and happily-ever-after promises.
Lesson learned: You never know what your man is fantasizing about. Why not ask and decide if you’re up for turning his dreams into the best New Year’s gift he’s ever received?