As a clinical sexologist, I am curious about how people act sexually. From time to time, I will ask random questions and then post the answers. My question of the month was, “How many of you kiss before having sex, and is it part of your love making foreplay? How important is kissing to you?”
As it turns out, kissing is very important.
Here is what people had to say:
- I could kiss with my honey all day. He is an awesome kisser. Yes it’s part of our lovemaking. And kissing him all over, is too.
- Kissing is like warming up the engine of your car before the race. It’s very important.
- Everything is in the kiss. The whole soul, the whole body, every erogenous zone is categorized and filed away in the kiss. The kiss, however, is not a single thing that exists in a vacuum, but rather a journey from one state into another; it is the story of “we.” And, like good music, it is familiar yet surprising. It moves us from within the deepest part of our spine to our hair, sending shivers from our skin back to our bones — resonating us like tuning forks.
- The kiss is the gateway to ascension.
- My husband said to me right before our first kiss, “I am about to kiss you, and when I do it’s going to change our worlds.” And that it did.
- The mouth has got to be one of the most erotic zones, filled with sensors for taste and touch at the same time. Kissing before and during is hot, intensifying and passionate. Got to have it.
- Once observed that, “Romance starts in the face.” For me, kissing is the first intercourse
- Kissing is sharing breath. It is the beginning of blending energy and breaking down barriers. Kissing floods our bodies with explosive chemicals. Kissing puts us in the mood, opens us to sensuality and drives us toward intimacy.
- Kissing is extremely intimate. It’s one of my favorite things to do!
- Kiss before, during and after. Very important!
- Kissing is just the foyer to becoming one physically, mentally and emotionally. I’ve had out-of-body experiences from kissing. It’s a prelude to what’s to come. Again, important before, during and after.
- I like to kiss a whole lot. Kissing someone you love deeply is so soothing, like dipping into a spa tub. Kissing in general is lovely — from bubbly little pecks to chaotic grabs and whole-mouth engulfment.
- Kissing is a must for me. I need that connection to go along with eye contact in order to enjoy the full experience!
Kissing is obviously important, but why?
As many of us have already discovered, a good kiss can really turn us on, while a bad kiss can really turn us off.
What is the science behind kissing? Kissing may be rooted in biology — and testosterone, a hormone that increases sex drive.
“There is evidence that saliva has testosterone in it,” according to Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher. “And there is evidence that men like sloppier kisses with more open mouth. That suggests they are unconsciously trying to transfer testosterone to stimulate sex drive in women.”
“One study found that 66 percent of women and 59 percent of men say the quality of the first kiss can kill a relationship,” Fisher said.
Kissing might be a way of assessing our potential mates, but it’s “just the tip of the iceberg,” according to Fisher. “We’re going to find that all kinds of chemical systems are in play in courtship that we are unaware of.”
Both research and real people’s opinions show kissing is the prelude to good sex, so kissing should play a big part in our intimate relationships!