Skip to main content Skip to header navigation

Opposite political views don’t mean your relationship is doomed


There is probably nothing worse than hitting it off with that potential special someone only to find out you fall on completely opposite ends of the political spectrum. It’s not exactly ideal, but it’s doesn’t have to be make-or-break, either.

After three weeks of laughter and blatant avoidance of the subject, an anonymous writer who goes by the name “Overwhelmed and At a Loss” reached out to‘s advice column Ask E. Jean seeking romantic assistance because, unfortunately, sometimes not all is fair in love and politics. During the couple’s cooking night, Mr. Right potentially proved himself to be Mr. Wrong by tuning in to Fox News and igniting a heated debate that ended in tears. “I felt attacked and overwhelmed,” At a Loss admitted. Long story short, the couple made amends, but feelings are now undetermined. Can a Democrat and a Republican fall in love?

This is not a question that can be answered definitively because it is an unfair generalization of the people who identify with each party. Not all Republicans are the same. Not all Democrats are the same. Just because this specific Republican made a woman cry does not mean all Republican men will make their partners cry, and vice versa. Politics can have a negative effect on a relationship, depending on the individuals involved and how passionate they are about a) politics in general and b) others who disagree with their political positions.

To answer At a Loss’s question, E. Jean begins her advice with a hard “No. No way. Newt Gingrich will make Hillary Clinton his fourth wife before you and Mr. Right work it out.” Harsh, right?

More: When politics get ugly with your sweetheart

She then adds, “Any chap — liberal or conservative — who makes you cry in the first three weeks is a man who won’t make you happy.” Bingo.

My dears, you have just as much of a right to your political stance as your partner. It’s when your views are belittled or when you feel personally attacked that a relationship is likely to fail.

This is not a question of an individual’s political party identification. This is a question of whether or not two individuals choose to place politics at the forefront of their relationship, and whether or not a person’s partner not sharing their beliefs is a deal breaker.

That said, there are couples who are very involved in different political parties who have *gasp* made it work. For example, Mary Matalin, a Republican political consultant, fell in love with Democratic political consultant James Carville, and the two have been happily married since 1993.

The importance of politics in a relationship is only as significant as you make it. Just as preferences of religion, having children, not having children, dog or cat person, etc. are individual deal breakers, politics is no exception. So, yes, Republicans and Democrats can fall in love. It just depends on who they are.

Leave a Comment