There’s no good way to find out your boyfriend’s been seeing someone else behind your back. However, there are plenty of terrible ways, and this ranks up there with one of the worst.
A 23-year-old woman who goes by username “sockpuppetry” on ask.metafilter.com recently started a post entitled “Did my boyfriend just get married?” Naturally the post started getting tons of attention, especially when users learned about the developments to her story.
She says in the post that she’d been dating her 29-year-old boyfriend for a year and a half now, although the relationship had been long-distance for the majority. Already my red flags were going up. She “stumbled upon ‘wedding photos'” that had been posted by a friend of his on social media, in which he appeared to be getting married to his ex-girlfriend at his university. Needless to say she was alarmed by said pictures and immediately confronted him.
But rather than owning up to the incredible deception on his part, he told her the pictures were “from a video that his university is making for new students to show how glamorous graduate school life can be.” She was skeptical of this rather absurd story, as were many of the users following her post. They told her to dig deeper, contact his “ex-girlfriend” or the university itself to debunk his story. Instead, she went back to the guy, and he validated it with a bunch of carefully curated details. He even laughed in her face when she mentioned his friends on social media congratulating him on the marriage. Frankly, that alone would make me hang up on the guy and walk away, but love is a fickle thing.
While some of the users following her post blamed her for being naive, most had her back and understood why she wanted so badly to believe him. Here are a few of the best responses to the situation:
1. If if IF he is not lying and everything is as he claims, why on EARTH did he not tell you about it ahead of time? If I were in his shoes I would have told you “Hey, so look, this is a little weird because it’s my ex, but I’m going to be in this video thing and it’s uh, a wedding. Is that too weird for you for me to do?”
2. My hope for you is that you will find someone as sweet, wonderful, understanding, and patient as you are, though after reading your update that is a tall order!
3. I’m so, so sorry you ended up with this guy. He saw ways in which he could take advantage of you, and he did it.
Unfortunately sockpuppetry’s — and most of the other users’ who commented on her posts — suspicions turned out to be well-founded. After being confronted over even more online evidence, he admitted that what sockpuppetry thought was a wedding was actually a huge engagement party. Sockpuppetry was, of course, devastated, but her followers stood in solidarity behind her, comforting her with moving and inspiring messages. So while it was a sad turn of events, it shows you can get incredibly strong support from virtual communities if you need it.