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Can We Please Just Say ‘Vagina’ Instead of These 50 Other Slang Words?

Say it with us now: “Penis, penis, penis. Vagina, vagina, vagina.” For far too many people, saying the phallic anatomy aloud comes much easier than the yonic. In these parts we love making sure our vulva/vagina owning friends and those that love them feel empowered to talk about their bodies and all their parts — so it’s important that we set the standard to say what we mean when we talk about these parts. And, again, we mean vaginas (which are not a dirty word!)

Our society is totally cool with throwing around slang terms for vagina — whether affectionately, with an attempt at avoiding vulgarity or with the express purpose of being vulgar — that are infinitely creepier and way more offensive than the medical term. Too often we teach our kids cutesy terminology that only works to reinforce the vagina as some unknowable, inappropriate thing as opposed to what is, at best, an awesome piece of anatomy that evolves and changes with its owner or, at worst, a neutral body part.

Need proof? We rounded a host of the different words for the female anatomy we could think of — from the tame to the say-whaaat? to the just plain juvenile. It appears that there’s apparently nothing we won’t do to avoid saying vagina, if these words are the ones we’re choosing to run with.

Make it down this list and we’re pretty sure you’ll agree with us that vagina is preferable to this evasive nonsense.

1. Vag

2. Vajayjay

3. Box

4. Nether regions

5. Lady business

6. Lady V

7. Hoo-haw

8. Cha-cha

9. Lady bits

10. Crotch

11. Muff

12. Kitty

13. Cooch

14. Cooter

15. Snatch

16. Snapper

17. Beaver

18. Cookie

19. Cupcake

20. Coin purse

21. Lady flower

22. Honey pot

23. Poon

24. Punani

25. Twat

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26. Gash

27. Banana basket

28. Flower pot

29. Fine china

30. Juice box

31. Pink panther

32. Hot pocket

33. Bikini bizkit

34. Penis fly trap

35. Vertical smile

36. Dew flaps

37. Flaming lips

38. Puff pillow

39. Notorious V.A.G.

40. Furburger

41. Bearded clam

42. Sausage wallet

43. Panty hamster

44. Meat curtains

45. Penis garage

46 Pink taco

47. Axe wound

48. Penis snuggie

49. P****

50. C*** (unless you have one and fully understand what it means to say it — just, don’t).

A version of this story was published October 2017.

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