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Sexless marriage isn’t marriage at all


Anthony D’Ambrosio is a 29-year-old divorced man who wrote a piece currently going viral on the reason young people today can’t maintain marriage. The piece makes a couple of decent points (and some less good ones), but the number one thing he mentions about sex is probably something all couples need to take to heart. Today.

D’Ambrosio addresses the concept of the “sexless marriage” and the damage it can do.

“I’m baffled by couples who neglect having sex, especially younger ones. We all desire physical connection, so how does cutting that off lead you to believe your marriage will be successful? It’s like telling someone you’ll take them out to a restaurant but they can’t order food.”

More: 13 Things all happy couples do in their marriages

He makes an excellent point. A marriage without sex is not a marriage. It’s a roommate situation. You are like business partners who share the same space. Obviously, every marriage is different and the amount of sex (and type of sex) will vary from couple to couple, but affection and sex are part of the marriage deal. Sorry. They just are.

Recently I have heard from countless people saying they are involved in marriages that lack sex. They aren’t “sexless” entirely, but someone is not satisfied and it is disappointing to the other person in the relationship.

We can tell ourselves that sex doesn’t matter. We can say it’s a frivolous reason to be unhappy. But all evidence seems to suggest the opposite. In fact, sex is one of the main causes of divorce.

So how do we stop from having a sexless marriage? It’s easy. Have sex. It’s that simple. The fact is, we owe it to each other to try. Whether that means discussing our fantasies, watching porn, reading erotica or discussing sex with friends, we have to find ways to keep our fires stoked. Actually, it should be part of the marriage vows.

More: Divorced people open up about the moment they knew their marriage was over

They always say if you aren’t sleeping with your man, someone else will. The same goes for men not sleeping with their women. We all need to put in a better effort to be there for our spouses. In all ways.

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