In a recent blog post written by Rozanne Leigh, she polled men to find out what they think the perfect “physical beauty” is and discussed how women more often than not feel a need to be beautiful based on their desire to be loved and admired.
Leigh set-out to ask men what they deemed physically beautiful and asked them questions about female figures, body and facial features, and weight. Shockingly enough, most men said they didn’t have a preference. Hard to believe, but according to this survey, it’s true. The big thing that came up time and time again was that men wanted someone who embraced their own unique beauty and loved themselves. Sounds easy enough, but is it?
As women, we pick up so many mixed messages each and every day from the media, from family, from friends — hell, from everywhere we turn. It’s like a wall of noise we just can’t ignore. Sometimes it’s hard to turn off the negative self-talk others have forced upon you and to focus on the most important person in the picture — you!
If Leigh is claiming that men are just looking for a woman who embraces and loves her own unique beauty, then maybe it’s time to “block out the haters” and the internal hate (so to speak). So when you wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror, apply kindness to yourself. This can be as simple as applying your favourite lipstick, taking a selfie of your awesome hair day or just internally sending yourself the message, “I’m fierce, flawless and beautiful.” Or write down some of the most common negative thoughts you’ve had about yourself, and then write affirmations to counteract those thoughts. It’s true, we all have good and bad body days, and sometimes applying this kindness to ourselves can be more difficult to do than on other days. But guess what? It’s totally normal.
More: Secrets to having a positive body image
The biggest thing to take away from all this is the following: You are beautiful, and you are a confident being. No matter what colour your hair is, the size of your waist or what your skin looks like, you’re a unique individual, and that is what makes you beautiful. As soon as you drop the insecurities about yourself and embrace your beauty in its whole form, that is when you’ll notice your true power. The power to rework negative thought patterns, and the power to create a kinder, gentler environment for yourself.
In the words of RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” I never really stopped to think about the advice Mama Ru was dishing out on her show, RuPaul’s Drag Race, but it’s probably some of the most honest and sage advice one person can give to another.