Everyone farts. But some people are hesitant to let one loose when they’re around other people, even their partner. And I’m here to tell you that it’s OK to fart around your significant other. It really is.
I’ve heard of adult men who grew up thinking that women didn’t fart because their mom never “broke wind” around them, and that has always struck me as super strange — women are human, just like men, and we definitely fart, just like they do. Why is there such a stigma about women and farting?
When you cross the line into farting territory is different for every relationship. Some women never fart in front of their sig-os, and others waste no time because seriously, who wants a stomach ache when a simple toot will make you feel so much better? But most relationships fall somewhere in the middle — months or even years can pass before your gas exits your bum in front of them.
Unfortunately, there is often an element of shame that many feel about farts, which often stems from experiences in childhood. “Our house has always been declared a safe fart zone,” shares Parker, a friend. “My mom got angry about farting growing up, so I constantly held it until my stomach was killing me because I didn’t feel like running to the bathroom over and over.”
I can see why that wouldn’t be too much fun, because if you loaded up on beans for an early meal, you’d spend most of your evening in the bathroom. And trotting off every few minutes has to be annoying and embarrassing. Of course, you should be courteous, because some farts smell worse than others, but holding in your gas because you think farts are gross or rude isn’t much fun, and only contributes to some weird notion that girls don’t fart.
“Once I got pregnant and started spontaneously farting all over the place, I was like oh well,” says Claire, one woman I polled. “Now I fart all the time. Fart fart fart. I’ll fart in the kitchen, and my preschooler will go ‘Oooh! A fart!’ from the living room. I’m careful about not putting taboos or shame on bodily functions with her, though. I lived way too long with shame and it did me no good.”
Whether you are a free-for-all farter, or you only do it on accident (or emergencies), I must say that hiding the fact that you have to expel gas like a normal human being sounds so restrictive. I’m not saying that you have to have farting contests or try to out-fart your partner, but while farts are not super fun to smell, they’re a natural by-product of eating food, which we all do.
Farting doesn’t make you less of a woman, it doesn’t ruin the mystery of your sex, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It just means you’re gassy, and that’s OK.