Maybe I’ve been reading marriage articles all wrong, but I always thought the top causes of divorce were money problems, infidelity and good old-fashioned dislike for your spouse. But according to Eva Mendes, partner to the beloved Ryan Gosling and mother of their first child together, it’s actually sweatpants that are to blame for the divorce epidemic.
When asked if she ever wears sweatpants to bum around the house, 41-year-old Mendes told Extra in her first interview about 6-month-old Esmeralda, “You can’t do sweatpants… Ladies, No. 1 cause of divorce in America. Sweatpants, no!”
As a stressed, exhausted and yet still attractive mother of two toddler boys, I find Mendes’ advice hilarious. I literally live in yoga pants as I work and parent from home each day. My husband also works from home, and he looks pretty sloppy himself. We call it even.
Mendes seems to think you have to keep yourself on point (read: well-groomed) to keep your man happy during the tumultuous baby years. While there is an element of truth to that, considering that a healthy sex life takes much more work when you have young kids tearing up the house, my parenting takeaway is the polar opposite.
Let it go. Be yourself. Let it all hang out. See the bigger picture. If you can’t look like your gross postpartum self around your significant other, then what’s he there for? If you can’t wear the same clothes for four days in a row because you’re too exhausted to do laundry, then why did God make yoga pants?
All jokes aside, as my older son turned 3, I suddenly realized: The baby years do go by in a flash. All the parenting clichés everyone tells you are true, though they don’t seem like it when you’re up all night with a newborn that won’t let you get two straight hours of sleep.
Maybe Mendes’ heart is in the right place. Maybe she really does want to keep the magic in her relationship, baby or no baby. But for the rest of us, we can take it all in stride. There are only a few years when you are going to be in the parenting trenches, barely able to keep your eyes open after 7 p.m.
Relish your sweatpants in these moments. Soon enough, your kids will be more independent and less present around the house. You’ll have plenty of time to strut around in sexy lingerie and clear plastic heels, if that’s what you’re into. Or you could take a page from my book and focus on the fact that your spouse finds you attractive no matter what you wear.
I’m not giving up my yoga pants.