Lisa Gaché is the Founder & CEO of Beverly Hills Manners,an etiquette consulting company dedicated to promoting a new school style of manners to individual and corporate clients.
Every smart girl knows that constant molding and maintenance is required to keep men’s annoying little habits at bay. Know that we do this only from love and for the sake of the relationship to prevent ourselves from harboring deep resentment and disgust, but also to preserve our attraction and help your charming sexier selves shine though. And man, do we have our work cut out for us!
For years, it seems men have been holing up in their man caves, the sanctum where they seek protection and preside over their precious wrestling figures, archival comic books and coveted baseball collections. Decorated with car wash posters along with the requisite worn leather couch and large screen TV, this self-appointed den is their solace from the harsh cold world and perhaps their female counterparts who bark orders to take out the trash or fix the toilet. One man in Toronto went so far as to dig an underground tunnel for his private getaway calling it his “dream hangout” spot. The lengths men will go to!
In 2008, President Obama was dubbed “Cuddler in Chief” for his tendency towards man hugging in the Oval Office, making popular the simultaneous hand shake and pat on the back and disarming many of his recipients.This greeting may go over well with the guys and political comrades, but not so much with your significant other. And just this past December, we were reintroduced to the epidemic of manspreading, the position by which males sit with legs splayed in a V-shaped slouch taking up more than their share of territory on public transportation.
It’s one thing for men to show bravado in the bedroom where it’s appreciated; Fifty Shades of Grey didn’t reach $500 million plus at the box office for nothing… but it’s quite another when they act crassly and forget there’s a lady in the house. Here are six simple steps to turn your man into a gentleman.
1. Urge him to use chivalrous behavior
It does not have to be every day, but we ladies appreciate the small gestures of chivalrous behavior from time to time. Holding a door open, assisting with heavy packages, helping us put on our coats, walking curbside when strolling, pulling out our chair at the table and rising when we excuse ourselves to go to the restroom. It shows you care.
2. Inform him of the benefits of manscaping
When the men in our lives develop a paunch from too many cupcakes, let their facial hair grow like weeds or suffer from spreading toenail fungus, it’s time to rein it in with a full day of manscaping at the nearest spa where their diet can be tackled along with their tresses and toes. While there is a breed of male that is overdoing it in the grooming department, we are merely advocating tools to help them remain appealing, not strip them of their masculinity.
3. Apprise him of bathroom policies
Bodily functions may be difficult to control, but they are manageable and should be released in the facilities. If given the option, we would rather not be subjected to your loud and often toxic-smelling flatulence. Frankly, it is a major turnoff. And, please have the courtesy to restore the toilet seat to its original position and close the lid. It is not only polite, it is good Feng Shui.
4. Inspire him to put on some pants
Murray Goldberg may drop his drawers upon entering his home in the hit series The Goldbergs, but this is real life and real men should wear pants. Enough already with the comfy shorts and sporty sweats; meet your lady halfway and make an effort to strap on some slacks, especially for an evening out in public. She takes pride in getting all dolled up and you should too. Trust me, the effort will only endear you to her.
5. Teach him to make small talk
Get a group of women together and good luck getting in a word edgewise. Some men, however, struggle to make simple conversation. To hone his conversation skills, have him brush up on current events as well as the latest happenings around town. Help him to be equal parts interesting and interested. At social functions, nudge him to initiate a conversation by offering a compliment or asking an open-ended question and then remind him to be a good listener. This will make him an expert conversationalist and the life of the party!
6. Encourage him to exercise fine dining skills
No more napkins tucked into button-down shirts or stabbing his steak pitchfork style; it’s time to get rid of the barbarian at the table and employ some refinement, especially around your mother who only visits twice a year. Have him place his napkin neatly in his lap, use it to wipe his mouth as well as capture a cough or sneeze. He should hold both the fork and knife to cut his food and not use Mr. Finger. He may wish to offer a polite toast to the host or a compliment to the chef. At the end of the meal, he will lay his napkin on the left side of his place setting.