Sex is the one amazing act that actually encourages us to take a break from our hectic lives and focus solely on pleasure, your partner’s and your our own. Since the entire point of intercourse is to merge with another person, relax and enjoy ourselves, why not make it as gratifying as possible?
When we’re in the moment, our thoughts and worries sometimes get in the way of our ability to let go and surrender to the amazing feelings that are coursing through our bodies during sex. As a result, many of us have trouble experiencing an orgasm or simply connecting with our partners.
Luckily, there are a few tricks we can keep in mind during sex to optimize our pleasure and, in the process, drive our partner absolutely wild.
1. Maintain eye contact
If you feel yourself escaping into your head or a place outside of your bedroom, try holding your partner’s gaze for a few powerful seconds. You may be shocked at how intimate and even uncomfortable it feels at first, but if you push through those first few seconds, your mutual stare may stir up intense emotions that translate to physical pleasure.
2. Tell a story
The next time you really want to turn things up a notch, lean in close while you’re in the act and whisper the dirtiest fantasy you can think of — assuming, of course, that you know your partner well enough to be sure they’ll think it’s as sexy as you do. Maybe you’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a threesome with him and another woman (or man)! As long as you’re confident you won’t kill the mood by sharing, play out one of the scenarios and see how your bodies respond.
3. Change your position
If you’re having sex missionary style, but really want to explore a different position, don’t be afraid to speak up — or simply go for it. Grab a pillow and slide it under your backside to lift up your pelvis and really feel every thrust. Or get on top. Most will appreciate your confidence and take-charge attitude and you’ll get off at the feeling of power you get from being in the driver’s seat.
4. Use your imagination
You don’t always have to have sex in the bedroom, even if you have kids. Driving along a secluded road? Why not pull over? Have a quickie in the bathroom or kitchen standing up while your kids are at soccer practice or hold a contest to find out which couch in your house is the best one for sex.
5. Think about the sex you’re having while you’re having it
Our brains are our pleasure control centers. While you’re having sex, try and picture in your mind every single act that is taking place. Fingers are on your breasts — think about them and how they feel. If you’re stroking your partner’s leg, imagine how excited they must be and where he’d like your hand to go next. Connect your mind with your fingers, mouth and other body parts so that you heighten your awareness of the amazing sensations going on in your body.
6. Pleasure yourself
Sex is incredible, but not all positions are going to hit you where you need it most. Despite what many assume, your partner is probably not going to take offense if you reach down and rub your clitoris while you’re having sex. If anything, you may inspire him to follow your lead.
7. Turn the lights on
Stop obsessing about your thighs and stomach — I mean it! Your partner loves you the way you are and certainly isn’t thinking about chubby arms, so why are you wasting your time with negative thoughts? Up the ante even more and flip on the light switch during sex. You may be shocked to find the sight of your naked body, and certainly your partner’s, more arousing than you ever dreamed possible.
Relax, it’s just sex. Things are going to go wrong. That sex toy you purchased isn’t going to work and strange noises are going to come out of nowhere. If you’re able to laugh at yourself, sex and (in a gentle way) your partner, you’ll find the entire wonderful, and sometimes odd as hell, act a lot more pleasurable.