Most of us have been in relationships that have lasted past the totally infatuated honeymoon stage. And while the beginning is ultra exciting, it’s nice when you go beyond it and get comfortable. But if you’re so comfortable around your man that you feel more like roommates or siblings, there might be trouble brewing that you need to deal with.
Here are nine signs you’re acting less like romantic partners and too much like plain ol’ roommates.
1. You sleep in separate beds… all the time
Sleeping apart sometimes isn’t a big deal. But if you sleep in separate beds and rooms every single night, you’re acting more like roommates. While this alone probably won’t make or break your relationship, if it’s one of several ways you’re not acting like a couple, it could be a red flag.
2. You rarely, if ever, have sex
Sex is part of what sets a romantic relationship apart from any other kind. It’s what keeps two people connected and in love. Platonic roommates don’t have sex. Neither do siblings (usually). Couples do. Or they should, anyway. If the sex has stopped, it’s a bad omen. Get to the bottom of what’s going on and try to fix it.
3. You spend a lot of time in separate rooms of the house
Do you frequently watch TV by yourself in the living room while he works on the computer in the office upstairs? Are you always in one room doing your own thing while he’s off in another doing his? That’s what roommates do, not couples. Though it’s healthy to have some alone time even when you’re paired off, if you’re leading separate lives in your own house, that’s not good.
4. You don’t care enough to fight
If you’ve gotten to the point where you’re so indifferent that you can’t even be bothered to fight with your significant other, that’s a sign you’re acting too much like roommates. Roommates often brush problems under the rug and avoid confrontation to keep the peace. Couples need to argue to work out their issues and better understand each other. In a strange way, fighting (within reason) helps keep two people who are married or in a relationship connected.
5. You go to the bathroom, burp and do other unromantic things in front of each other
This might be a controversial one, as plenty of couples find it totally OK to do everything in front of each other. But it’s important to draw the line somewhere. There need to be boundaries in the relationship. How unattractive is watching someone go to the bathroom or burp (or the other thing)? Exactly. Save the gross stuff for your brother or sister or keep it private. Spare your poor significant other the pleasure of seeing you in all your glory.
6. You don’t have meaningful talks very often
If real conversation between the two of you has dwindled down to practically non-existent and you find yourself barely speaking, that doesn’t sound like a healthy love relationship. It’s what roommates who aren’t all that close do sometimes.
7. You’ve stopped checking in during the day
Couples in good relationships check in with each other at least once or more during the day — whether it’s to just see how everything is going, talk about plans for later or alert the other person about a late arrival home. Roommates and siblings don’t feel the need for that kind of regular contact. So when it stops in your relationship, it could mean something’s wrong.
8. You don’t make each other a priority
If your relationship is constantly taking a back burner to your job, kids, parents and everything else in your life, you’re not acting like you’re part of a couple — you’re treating him like a brother or a roommate. You need to refocus your energies on your relationship and put it back at the top of the list, not the bottom, or you’re in danger of losing it completely.
9. You don’t share big news with each other anymore
If the first person you feel like telling important news to isn’t your significant other or spouse, that’s a bad sign that you’ve crossed over into roommate territory. You both should want to share big life events with each other. If it’s become a chore or an afterthought to do that, then something isn’t right.