It’s a fact — extroverts get all the attention because they frequently demand it. I’m one of them. Even though extroverts may spend more time in the spotlight because they’re hogging the stage, “Livin’ La Vida Loca” isn’t that easy.
I’m a diehard extrovert who goes batty without some kind of human interaction. The people in my life fall throughout the spectrum, most of them introverted. It is from these wonderful introverts that I have learned some valuable lessons: Not everyone is like me. Not everyone responds to life the way I do.
This basic understanding of what makes people tick has helped me to better relate to my favorite introverts. Yet, the extrovert inside me still screams: “What about meee?” It’s my turn, and I have something to get off my chest. For us happy-go-lucky, confident folk, there are social problems we encounter on the regular.
1. You feel responsible for every awkward silence
To paraphrase from the blog Love Thy Introvert: To an introvert, silence is golden. To an extrovert, silence means something is wrong.
2. Your need for connection can make you feel like a cling-on
Sheevathediva describes the plight of the gregarious extrovert on Reddit, “When I’m left alone, I feel like crap. I long for human interaction, and it makes me feel like a needy little idiot.”
3. You think talking more will make people like you more
One of the most common rookie extrovert mistakes goes a little something like this: You notice that your friend is withdrawn. You assume something is wrong. You try to chat them up to elevate their mood and “talk the problem out of them.” You fail miserably and learn that sometimes people just need room to breathe.
4. You feel like an idiot when you come on too strong
Many times, your excited puppy demeanor may be confused for flirting, as explained by Macy Sto. Domingo on Thought Catalog. Other times, you beat yourself up for putting yourself out there when a friend flakes on you for the umpteenth time.
5. It hurts when people just don’t “click with” your personality
As Dan Buettner says on Psychology Today, “Issues may arise when an introvert and extrovert interact. An introvert may view an extrovert as bossy and overbearing whereas an extrovert may view an introvert as stuck up or shy.” Though you see this classic oil and water scenario coming from a mile away, rejection from another personality type still cuts deep.
6. Your social anxiety looks like an extrovert cranked up to 11
Social butterflies can get just as anxious as wallflowers at the dance. The difference is that extroverts overcompensate by turning up the volume in a misguided attempt to help everyone relax.
7. You’re sick of making all the plans
If you’re the “fun” friend in the group, the social calendar is likely to rest squarely on your shoulders. While it can be exhilarating to plan new activities for your homies, it can also feel lonely to be the only person to initiate a hangout.
8. Everyone gets concerned when you’re in a bad mood
The common refrain among extroverts is that in-your-face, jokester types aren’t “allowed” to be in a funk. As Natalie Reilly explains in her defense of the loudmouth for Daily Life, “We might babble on, but we’re still sensitive.”
9. You get depressed too — you just have a harder time showing it
Are extroverts capable of depression? Yes, yes and yes. One Redditor nails the vicious cycle, “Usually for me, it involves a withdrawal from social situations that ends up making me even more depressed.”
10. Living alone may never be an option for you
Living arrangements pose a prime dilemma for extroverts who love social stimulation. Feedback from experienced outgoing Redditors boils down to this: Avoid living alone if it sounds too isolating. Get roommates, adopt a pet and invite friends over often.
11. You have to take conscious steps to accommodate your partner in a relationship
What happens when introverts and extroverts collide in one romantic puddle of love? As in any successful relationship, both partners have to learn to accept and adjust if they’re in it for the long haul. Extroverts especially can learn to respect much needed alone time and rein in the mindless chatter.