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Making the transition from friend to girlfriend

A great friendship doesn’t mean you can’t make it something more. Often the best relationships are based on strong friendships. Here’s how to make the transition successful.

Man and woman having coffee


Don’t rush things

Jumping head-first into a relationship is one way to risk breaking up and losing the friendship you had in the first place. When you want to make that transition from being his friend to his girlfriend, it’s best not to rush things. Consider how long you have been friends for and how important that friendship is to you. The thought of an intimate relationship may get your heart racing, but don’t try to force anything. Give your friendship the respect it deserves and take the small steps necessary to get your relationship to the next level.


Be clear on how he feels about you first

Making the move to go from being his friend to his girlfriend should be done only when you feel confident about how he feels about you and that there’s a good chance he wants the same. If you’re not clear about how he feels, then you can risk scaring him off and making things awkward between you both. You can openly ask, you can hint, you can flirt or you might even like to have a mutual friend approach the subject for you. However you approach it, be clear on how he feels about you first.


Let him know he’s desirable

Don’t make it more difficult than it already is. Let him know you find him desirable. Mix physical compliments with emotional compliments. He may not be used to hearing these sorts of compliments from you, so don’t overdo it, you may just end up scaring him off if you come on too strong. Keep in mind compliments, not just flirting.

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Don’t make sex the changing focus

When going from his friend to his girlfriend, your physical relationship is the most significant thing that changes between you both. To ensure things don’t get awkward, acknowledge the relationship change for what it is, but also acknowledge your friendship is going to change as well. Yes, the sex may be great, but your entire relationship needs to move forward as well.


Get support from others

A few trustworthy friends can help make this transition go a little smoother. Some support with the relationship moving to another level can help remove any awkwardness. Talk to friends you can trust to get their opinion of any potential relationship change. A group night out can be a great way to approach the issue of getting to know your friend on a deeper level. It’s non-threatening and, if he’s not ready for too much change yet, you won’t risk him having to turn you down.


Keep your friendship central to the relationship

One of the most damaging things about moving from his friend to his girlfriend is when all focus is based around the intimacy. Yes, this is a huge change in the relationship, but you need to keep your friendship at the centre. Don’t forget what it was you liked about him in the first place and how you interacted with him. This part of your interaction shouldn’t have to change.

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