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Can a one-night stand help your relationship?

You can pledge to love a lifetime, but vowing to lust forever is quite a different story. We all know the reasons sex can take a backseat in a relationship. Some couples have come up with an interesting way to rekindle the spark. Here we review one of them… Let their partners sleep with someone else.

man woman kissing

The premise

The movie The Freebie explores one couple’s warm, loving, honesty-based relationship that somehow is lacking in the sex department. The male part of the couple [surprise] says he sometimes thinks about what it would be like to shag another gal. Instead of being offended, the woman considers it — for her partner AND herself. We can’t ruin the movie for you, but the audience is led to believe that both parties go through with it.

The issues

In a Sydney Morning Herald sex column, readers explored the issues surrounding why a couple would choose to give each other a night off. The writer’s friend ponders it because she’s only slept with two people including her guy. Like the male character in The Freebie, she wonders if she’s gotten all her kinkiness and promiscuity out of her system. But the couple in the movie also seems to be suffering from a certain boredom or lack of desire, evidenced by a clip of them playing Scrabble. Sometimes, those things can be fixed with just a little extra effort. Other times, no amount of sleeping with others will rekindle the lost lust.

Readers commenting on the column and the movie mostly disagreed with the notion, asking what’s to stop a person from having more than one freebie. The relationship might never recover from the infidelity, or the person might start an affair with the individual he or she slept with. Surely, there must be ways to resurrect the passion aside from finding another person with whom to resurrect it.

Open relationships

Then there’s the more developed option to which a freebie can lead — a full-fledged open relationship. In such an arrangement, couples can invite other individuals into the bedroom or seek out partners separately. Many who practice this lifestyle say the approach is as much about fulfilling sexual desires outside of the relationship as it is about sharing those experiences with their current partners.

You must consider plethora things when you open up your relationship. The Sydney-based group ACON says to ask several “what ifs.” What if: you or your partner become more attracted to someone else; get jealous; feel pressured?

Other options

If you’re not comfortable with sharing, explore other ways to reinject the lust into your love. One bold option is to go to a sex club and simply watch other couples doing it. Join in with your partner if you want, but just the visuals and sounds of others might be enough to make you want to run home and tear each other apart.

You know many of the other ideas: watch porn together, role play, dress up, buy lingerie, follow the Kama Sutra. But people constantly underestimate the connection between sex and the brain. As right as every other area of the union might seem — and this goes for The Freebie couple as well — there might be unexplored issues leading to a severe dip in your sex life.

The Australian Woman’s Weekly reminds couples to talk to each other and express their desires to build a better sex life. Time seduction right and do sexy activities like dancing to inspire your desire in your partner. If you think the problem might be more deep-seeded than just “losing spark,” consider couple’s counselling.

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