Everyone remembers their first kiss, but what about seeing your first real-life vagina? In a candid coming-of-age, X-rated Wonder Years type thread, one brave Redditor poses the question: “Males of Reddit, how did you react the first time you saw a vagina in real life?”
Oh, boy. As the proud owner of a vagina, I can only imagine how this thread is going to shake down. In an Ask Reddit post with 6,000 comments and counting, the men of Reddit had something to say about the first time they got up close and personal with a delicate lady flower.
Here are the 12 most memorable reactions to seeing a vagina in the flesh:
1. And what do we have here…
“Stuck my finger in it, like I was a toddler with a light socket.”
2. Don’t I know you from somewhere?
“Oh my god, I’m a huge fan. I’ve seen all your movies.”
3. Hi, I’m new here
“She pulled her pants down while we were behind a fence in a park during winter. I, being the amazingly intelligent 15-year-old boy that I was, thought that it would be funny to bend down and blow on it. She got really cold and punched me. The end.”
4. I don’t know what this is, but I like it
“First I sniffed it. Then I touched it. Then I probed it with my finger. Then I licked it. And then I put a tracking device on it so it can’t get away, and I’ll always know how to find it again.”
5. If you need me, I’ll be in the on-call room
“‘I hope my boner doesn’t show through my scrubs.’ Yup, the first time I saw a vagina in real life was on my OB/GYN rotation in medical school.”
6. Is that a banana in your pocket?
“Got an erection.”
7. It’s… magnificent
“‘Sweet merciful Christ, it’s more beautiful than I imagined.’ Followed by me going down on my girlfriend. This happened a month ago. I’m 24.”
“Seemed nice enough. I’d always liked the idea of a self-lubricating sexual orifice, and appreciated the fact that poop doesn’t come out of them. So I figured I might like to try them out at some point. Wasn’t disappointed. Wasn’t particularly blown away, either. But they lived up to expectations.”
9. No, thanks
“I thought to myself, ‘Huh… I hoped it would be more arousing in real life,’ and that’s when I realized I might like men.”
10. Oh, this old thing?
“To be honest, I acted like I had seen tons before and acted like I wasn’t super stoked.”
11. Tell me when I’m getting close
“I thought I was messing around with the wrong entrance.”
12. Where do I even begin?
“There are so many flaps on this thing.”