There’s something about travel that separates the men from the boys — and the shaky relationships from the long-term loves. Planning your first vacation with your significant other can be an amazing bonding experience filled with once-in-a-lifetime memories, as long as you know what you’re getting yourself into.
Any couple who has traveled together will agree that there are 10 scenarios likely to play out on your first romantic trip:
1. Your personalities will clash
But you are in love! How can this be? He’s a laid-back extrovert who can’t make a plan to save his life. You’re an organized, often anal, introvert who wants to arrive at the airport at least two hours early. Have fun with that.
2. You’ll take a lot of selfies
You’ll promise yourself that you won’t, but you will. Since this is your first romantic getaway as a couple, you get a pass — as long as you keep the duck face in check.
3. You’ll discover his quirks
“So, he hums that same annoying song every morning while he brushes his teeth. I’ve never noticed that before.”
4. Your first fight will happen when you get lost
Every couple has to get that first fight out of the way. If you haven’t fought yet, just get lost and try to navigate your way back to the hotel together. The more lost you are, the more epic the fight will be.
5. One of you will get washed away on a kayak
I don’t know why this happens on every romantic vacation, but it has happened to me and almost every other couple I know. Wear a life vest.
6. You’ll get a little drunk and say weird things
If you’re in a new love relationship, things could get very, very weird after a few too many Mai Tais on the beach. Embrace the moment and ride the wave of drunken conversation — he’ll probably think it’s cute in the morning.
7. You’ll need some alone time
Don’t pretend that you won’t. Even hanging out with the love of your life 24/7, for days on end, is enough to drive a sane person crazy.
8. You’ll make new friends
Two people can only talk about so much. The odds are that you’ll sidle up next to another couple at a resort or local bar and strike up a conversation. Over the next few days, you’ll be inseparable. Before you leave, you will all promise to be best friends for life.
9. You’ll have amazing hotel sex
My personal theory is that hotel rooms are hosed down with some kind of aphrodisiac after each use. Either way, the allure of a big hotel bed plus the fact that no one cares how loud you scream equals some naughty boning all night long.
10. Your greatest bonding moment will happen when one of you gets sick
Did you know that the Curse of Montezuma, a.k.a. Montezuma’s Revenge, a.k.a. eating a bad street taco in Mexico, can bring a couple together? Holding back his hair as he blows chunks is what love songs are written about.