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How to get noticed on dating sites

With online dating you have so many options — but there’s that much more competition. Instead of just going through the motions when filling out your profile, be strategic. Whether you’re new to internet dating or an OkCupid veteran, we’ll help make sure your online dating profile gets noticed.

Upload more than one photo of yourself

Uploading several photos gives potential dates a better idea of what you look like, what your style is and what you like to do with your time. Users who upload at least three photos are likely to receive twice as many messages as those with just one photo according to dating service How About We. Obviously you want to show the best version of yourself so pick photos that are flattering but still recognisably you. Make sure your primary photo is a close-up — people often won’t bother clicking on a profile if they can’t see what you look like right away. If you don’t have any great photos of yourself have some taken.

In a fascinating blog post by OkTrends, the OkCupid team discovered that women who are considered universally attractive are not messaged as often as women who divide opinion. They suggested that men are more likely to message a woman if they feel there is less competition for her attention. What can you take away from this? Don’t be concerned with appealing to all men. If you have a unique look or style run with it — you’re more likely to be approached.

More tips for building the perfect online dating profile >>

Come across as positive

A recent study which examined what successful crowdfunding campaigns have in common can actually teach us a lot about successful dating profiles — be positive! People are drawn to happy, upbeat people. So instead of saying “I don’t meet enough single men”, try “I’m keen to meet new men”. Digital strategist Amy Webb, while researching her book Data, A Love Story, created fake men’s profiles to learn more about her competition and found that the most successful women’s profiles were also fairly short — under 500 words — as writing too much can come across as desperate. It can be tempting to divulge too much when you have unlimited space but try to think of it as presenting yourself in any social setting. If you wouldn’t tell someone you meet at a bar that you’re still reeling from your last break-up you shouldn’t mention it on your profile.

Complete your profile

This seems like a no-brainer but because filling out your online dating profile is time-consuming and requires a lot of thought people often get discouraged. While you’re looking at other profiles and finding people who seem a good match for you the other person does not know you at all — all they have is your profile to go on and, if it’s barely filled out, they might think you’re not worth the risk or that you’re hiding something.

Read more on being single and selling yourself >>

Answer more questions

Most dating sites ask users to answer a series of questions about themselves and their preferences to help them choose potential dates. These are not always compulsory but the more questions you answer, the better chance you have of the site giving you a high percentage match with other users, meaning your profile will get visited more often. It’s also a good way to weed out men whose core values and principles differ greatly from your own so make sure you answer the ones that are important to you (where you stand on religion and smoking are good examples).

Don’t be afraid to make the first move

Many women are nervous about sending the first message because we’ve been told all our lives to let men make the first move — so we hope that the hottie we were checking out will notice and contact us. If you wait around for someone interesting to approach you, you may lose out to more proactive women. Men receive a fraction of the number of messages that women do (as this man discovered when he posed as a woman on OkCupid), so by actively contacting someone you like the sound of you’re already setting yourself apart from the rest. Megan, 27, a PR professional who has been using two different online dating services to meet men in London since late last year comments, “I have never had a negative reaction when I approached men myself. Nine times out of ten I’d get a response and usually a date too.” So what are you waiting for?

More dating advice

First date safety tips
10 Ways to get date ready
6 First date dos and don’ts

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