You may have grown up believing there was just one true love you were fated to meet and that it was simply a question of time. So when “Mr Right” doesn’t walk straight through your door, should you just wait until he turns up? Or is it better to be proactive about falling in love?
We may all believe that we can guide our destiny, choose our own fate , but when it comes to love, do we wait around hoping for fate to intervene?
Finding love online
In a recent survey, 7 million single people in the U.K. said they would consider looking for love online, and it has been estimated that one in six married couples made their first contact via the internet, usually through a dating agency or a social networking site. To embark upon love without initial physical contact, a certain level of proactivity comes into play. Basically, that means being brave.
Make it happen
Online love begins with an element of distance. If you don’t project signals that you’re keen and available, your love interest won’t know whether to proceed. Equally though, without looking into someone’s eyes and physically hearing their voice, it can be easier to ask crucial questions, to weigh up the situation and to find out all about them before you meet in person, without showing signs of embarrassment.
Let fate decide?
So then, is love a matter of fate? Far less empowering is to wait for that special moment fate has in store for you, to fall hard and forever. You may be waiting for “The One.” Well, perhaps you have had him already! Lovers split up, even if they really believed this was “it.” What is this thing called love (or fate) anyway? Even if you believe that “que sera, sera” (what will be, will be} is ruling your destiny, perhaps you can still give true (or just steamy!) love a little nudge in the right direction.
Finding love up front and personal
According to Dr David Holmes, Senior Psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, ”Love at first sight is the big one, where everything is up for grabs. All else needs a little directing, and maybe even a big push! If a woman is proactive and shows she is interested, this has a bigger covert effect on a man than vice versa, so long as it stops short of her being ‘pushy’. Women tend to receive lots of offers, but men tend to get what they are given, and frankly they may feel lucky for any attention!”. So if you meet your potential partner the “old-fashioned” way i.e., by making personal, physical contact, then it is essential you use eye contact, smile a lot and make it clear you are keen to get to know them.
Express your personality
Romantic love is a complex emotion that ultimately expresses how two people relate to each other. If you are the kind of woman who takes control and grasps the nettle in most areas of her life. then chances are you are not in the habit of leaving anything to other people, or to fate. When you consider how life enhancing and even life changing love can be, is it sensible (or even passionate) to wait around for Prince Charming to swoop down on his white charger and take control? You may prefer to have a guiding hand in your own destiny.