Though we’re not sure who uttered the original bad pickup line (my bets are on Julius Caesar to Cleopatra), they have been a thing since the beginning of time. Somehow, they have also become one of the most entertaining parts of the internet. These days, dating apps do the work for you by coming up with corny conversation prompts, which makes it even more fun to enjoy a relic of the past: the in-person, classic cheesy pickup line.
How do you craft something full of puns, something cheeky about your cat, and nonspecific compliments that are cheesy enough that the other person might assume there’s some depth underneath your one-liner? We’re not sure, but people manage to do it. What we really want to know is: Have any of these ever worked? If you’ve actually encountered any of the below, please say no.
Anyway, we hope these pickup lines are something comical to share with your group chat on a Tuesday afternoon. You have to promise never to use them unironically, though.
These cheesy pickup lines are so bad, they’re almost good.
“You dropped something…my jaw.”
“Hey, you owe me a drink! Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.”
“Something must be wrong with my phone…it doesn’t have your number in it.”
“You look so familiar. Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.”
“Can I get a pic of you? I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas.”
“Was your mother a beaver? ‘Cause damn!”
“It’s handy that I have my library card because I’m totally checking you out.”
“Did you just fart? Because you blow me away!”
“Do you work at Subway? ‘Cause you just gave me a foot-long.”
“Hey, girl. Are you German? ‘Cause I wanna be Ger-man!”
“Are those space pants? Because your ass is outta control!”
“Do you have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knee falling for you.”
“Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel.”
“If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.”
“I’ve lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?”
A version of this article was originally published in February 2015.
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