What’s with all this BS about single people drinking wine straight from the bottle before crying themselves to sleep on Valentine’s Day? Being single on this highly overrated holiday totally has its advantages.
For instance, Valentine’s Day dates never live up to the hype or perfect expectations — ever. Behold all the reasons why it’s so much better to go it alone.
1. No sharing
When you’re single, you get all the chocolate for yourself, and you don’t have to rely on my Great Depression-era chocolate hoarder trick: biting the corners off all the chocolate in the box so that no one else will eat it.
2. No flowers
This year will be different. This will be the year that you don’t have to pretend to love the adorable daisies you are actually allergic to.
3. No dressing up
This Valentine’s Day, you don’t have to dress up if you don’t want to. And if you do… Throw on that sexy cat suit, turn on a naughty Netflix show and rock on with your bad self.
4. No answering to anyone
“What time do you want to go to dinner? Do you want to catch a movie after? Or maybe we should just stay in… I don’t know, what do you think?” Shhh… My stories are on.
5. No spending money
For many people, Valentine’s Day is just a clever cash-suck created by corporate bigwigs. So what if you’re ringing in Cupid’s holiday alone? You keep all your dough for yourself.
6. No restaurants
Have you ever had to elbow your way into a fancy restaurant full of wall-to-wall people waiting for a candlelit table? I rest my case.
7. No small talk
If you have ever had the “pleasure” of going on a first date on Valentine’s Day, then you know that it is as close to hell as you will ever get. Being single on Valentine’s Day means you don’t have to talk about the weather, your hometown and his cat’s favorite hobbies. Score.
8. No heartbreak
The downside to the Valentine’s Day love-fest is that sometimes good things come to an end. This Valentine’s Day, you can focus on the good and overlook the bad: Think fat angel babies with a bow and arrow, milk chocolate and a cute handwritten card from your niece and nephew. Ain’t love grand?
9. No reason not to hang out with your girlfriends
Yes, this is cliché as hell, but if you’re in the mood, you should do it anyway. Gather up some Valentine’s candy, thaw some ice cream and settle in with your single sisters for an eight-hour Sex and the City marathon.
10. No awkward sex dilemma
Contrary to popular belief, there is no unspoken rule that says you must bone the dude you’ve been dating for two weeks just because love is in the air. If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, relish in the fact that you won’t have to think of a convincing excuse to shut your date down at the end of the night.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
Originally published February 2015. Updated February 2017.