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21 Seemingly Innocent Phrases That Are Actually Incredibly Dirty

I never found fart jokes very funny, but I’ve always loved a good dirty double entendre. I know a day will come when I’m supposed to stop finding middle-school level sex jokes funny, but it is not this day. And these dirty double meaning phrases (which we recommend only sharing with a partner who can’t dump you on the spot) are just too good to give up.

1. “That teabag was actually better the second time around.”

Tea bag

Image: Giphy

2. “The landscapers are coming over today to trim the bush.”


Image: Giphy

3. “Yes, my favorite animal is definitely the beaver.”


Image: Giphy

4. “Wanna bone?”

Dog bone

Image: Giphy

5. “A pearl necklace would look really nice on you.”

Pearl necklace

Image: Giphy

5. “I was just really surprised by how big his package was.”


Image: Giphy

6. “I love sausage.”


Image: Giphy

7. “I wonder what happens to nuts in space.”

Nuts in space

Image: Giphy

8. “We were only riding for maybe five seconds before we were desperate to get off.”

Roller coaster

Image: Giphy

9. “We were banging all night.”


Image: Giphy

10. “In an instant, she was dripping wet.”

Dog falls into pool

Image: Giphy

11. “Ever since she showed him what to do, he just loves tossing salad.”

Eating salad

Image: Giphy

12. “I was expecting maybe four inches, but he gave me more like 12.”

Subway sandwich

Image: Giphy

13. “The power of the thrust was really remarkable.”

Rocket launch

Image: Giphy

14. “He really needs to work on his ball handling.”

Basketball fail

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15. “I tried everything but he just kept slipping out.”

Nick moon walking

Image: Giphy

16. “I’m sure he’s tired; he spent all day on his knees.”

Forrest gump

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17. “I was surprised by the sheer power of the sea men.”

Pop eye

Image: Giphy

18. “She took his head in her hands and stroked it.”

Dalmatian pets man

Image: Crazyhyena

19. “He tried everything but just couldn’t get in.”

Stuck hamster

Image: Giphy

20. “They’re constantly involved in one intercourse or another. It’s difficult to separate them for any length of time.”


Image: Giphy

21. “Did you try blowing?”


Image: Giphy

If you’re done with innuendo for a minute, here’s some facts about orgasms that are explicitly dirty: 

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