Getting married is a huge, life changing event. That’s a fact. For many men, that means that the proposal prior to such an event must be so amazing, so totally over-the-top, that nothing on this Earth can possibly compare. But dude, that’s a lot of pressure. For one Dutch man, the pressure to make it big came at an enormous cost. He destroyed his neighbor’s house.
A Dutch man — whose name has not been announced — tried to propose to his girlfriend with a crane. In the process, he completely wrecked his neighbor’s home.
Apparently, the plan was to dangle in front of her window and play music. Romantic, right? Unfortunately, the crane he hired crashed through the roof and hurt several properties in the neighborhood. What could he have been thinking? I’ll tell you what: He was thinking of the pressure.
The sad truth is that men are all trying to keep up when it comes to proposals. From skywriting proposals to the jumbo tron at baseball games to flash mobs and nationally televised events, it is no longer adequate for a man and woman to make a mature decision together to marry and then go pick out a ring.
Now men need to step it up.
When I got engaged 13 years ago, things weren’t quite so crazy. At the time, my husband’s proposal — a scavenger hunt to all of our favorite spots in the city — was original and unique. Everyone was in awe of it. Now, it seems positively pedestrian. And though I appreciated it wildly at the time, I wonder if it would be enough now.
I say: Enough IS enough. Getting engaged is plenty. Why does it have to be such an over-the-top event? The problem comes when the “event” overshadows the marriage. We should be focused on what it means to be with someone forever. We should be focusing on asking one another questions about our future and growing together. Instead we are focused on these one-offs. The wedding and proposal are great, it’s true. Enjoy them. It’s a beautiful time.
But if you focus on them to the exclusion of everything else, you could be destroying the most important thing: The marriage.
Do you think proposals are really important?