I know I’m probably going to regret saying this, but I am on a diet. During the holidays. That’s right, I said it.
I am trying lose weight during the busy holiday season, when everyone else is out enjoying parties, wine, eggnog and more food than we can possibly imagine. I know that’s a bit unusual, but I know I’m not alone. Just picture this: You spent all summer drinking margaritas and all of fall indulging in pumpkin spice everything. And now it’s December, and the scale is up. Like, a lot. And I’m not happy.
But instead of waiting for New Year’s to make a resolution like, oh, everyone else, I’ve decided to tackle the problem head-on and avoid feeling stressed out every time I have a gathering to attend. Still, it’s not easy, and for everyone who can relate to jump-starting their dieting early, here are some common thoughts you have when trying to lose weight during the holidays.
1. Oh hey, scale. I haven’t seen you in a while. How are you doing?
2. (steps on) OH DEAR LORD, WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN TO ME?
3. OK, OK. It’ll be OK. I can do this. I can just go on a diet. Next year…
4. Ugh, but the scale… What if I gain more weight? It’ll be even harder. I can’t wait.
5. No, I should wait. Holiday parties! Drinking! Appetizers! DESSERT.
6. (steps on scale again) OK. I can’t wait. I can do this. I can do it. Really.
7. Am I seriously going on a diet during party season?
8. YES! I am. I can do it. I will be good. I’ll just not drink wine.
9. Oh, who am I kidding? Bring on the wine!
10. Maybe I’ll just limit it to one glass. One glass of wine. Just wine. I can say no, thank you.
11. Or should I pretend to be pregnant?
12. No, that’s silly. One glass of wine. (breathes) Yes, this’ll work.
13. What about appetizers?
14. Maybe I can stick to the healthy ones. Wait, are there healthy ones?
15. (looks online) OK, maybe a few.
17. I forgot all about dessert.
18. How could I forget about dessert…?
19. Definitely no healthy desserts, though. What do I do? What do I doooooo?
20. (at a party) OK, girl, stick to the game plan. The healthier-looking apps. Mostly veggies. No dessert if I’m drinking.
21. Oh my God, those fried shrimp look amazing.
22. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. No. Yeees. Wait, no no no no no!
23. Have to stick to the game plan. If I break now, I’ll keep letting myself break.
24. Man, this is a great glass of wine. I wonder if they have any left?
25. Did I say one glass of wine or two? Maybe I should forget about that rule.
26. Oh sure, you can say no to fried shrimp, but you can’t say no to wine? Get it together!
27. OK, that wine was good. But now I’m on to sparkling water. I can do this. Really, I can.
28. Mmm… This cucumber tuna appetizer thing is great. Ooh!
29. Oh man, I could have 20 of those.
30. But I probably shouldn’t. Right?
31. Wow, that pie! No. No pie. Seriously, no pie.
32. A cheese ball. There is a cheese ball. ALERT. ALERT. Maybe it’s best to just leave now.
33. (back home) Well, that wasn’t so bad. No, it kind of was. Well, better than I thought.
34. Can I seriously keep this up all winter?
35. (opens another party invite) Ugh. Well, here’s hoping!
More on weight loss
7 Small changes to make this your healthiest winter ever
Health resolutions you shouldn’t put off until the New Year
Scientific proof we need to stop counting calories already