Unfortunately relationship milestones don’t always leave us with the rom-com memories we’d like. When nerves strike, grace can bolt, words can fail, and suddenly it’s like we’re back in junior high again. How do you do this again? Here’s how to ace those make-or-break moments.
When you meet his friends for the first time
Don’t stress too much about making a good impression. If your guy is introducing you to his friends in the first place, it shows he’s confident they’ll like you. In the beginning stages, when talking about your partner around his friends, don’t criticize, even in good humour. His friends don’t know your sense of humour yet, and what you say could easily be misinterpreted. Go with the flow, participate in the action, and keep in mind that if they give you a hard time or grill you with questions, it’s probably because they like you.
When he brings up the ex
Listen closely — hearing someone talk about their ex is a little window into their true character. Don’t indicate any judgment in your responses. If you want to keep the honest-communication channel open, make your partner feel secure in sharing with you. Listen, and make it known that you care and that you’re interested. Show him he can trust you.
The moments after you have sex
Whether he jumps up to leave you wondering if you should find your clothes or if the vibe in the room suddenly turns awkward, maintaining a sense of humour is key. A little post-coital awkwardness is inevitable in the beginning stages of a relationship. The bottom line is this: If you and your partner can’t laugh about it, it’s probably not meant to be.
Learn how to decode his post-sex behaviours >>
When one of you gets super mad
When that first flash of anger strikes, remove yourself from the situation. Get calm and collected, and come back ready to talk rationally and maturely. Why? Because fighting is great for a relationship. In fact, not fighting could ruin your relationship. Conflict is the mechanism by which we set boundaries around our differences so each person in the relationship feels safe with the other. If we don’t ever reach those boundaries, we might not ever feel comfortable enough to relax and be our true selves.
Here’s why fighting is good for a relationship >>
When you sleep together for the first time
We’re talking actually sleep together, not just crashing into bed after a night on the town. This is, after all, a sample of your future nights if the relationship works out. Discovering your sleeping styles don’t mesh can be frustrating. If your partner snores like a banshee or wraps you in a cobra grip so tight it leaves you sweaty and utterly unable to sleep, politely peel his hands off of you, and tell him you need your beauty rest. Whatever you do, don’t just grin and bear it. Sacrificing a full night of sleep and feigning a happy face will make you resentful.