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Carving out time for a sex life after having kids

With so much to do every day, how can a couple still find time for a sex life after having kids? Here’s some advice on how to do just that.


Your mornings start really early, what with the baby crying or your having to get up, make breakfast, make lunches, get the kids dressed and out the door, all while you prepare to get ready for work too. In the evening you shuttle the little ones off to music lessons or sports, make dinner and get the kids bathed and ready for bed. By the time all is said and done, you both collapse in exhaustion, and even when you’re in the mood, you can’t muster the energy to get hot and heavy.

Still, though, with a little forethought, you can continue to have a healthy sex life after having kids.

Plan date nights in advance

It’s much too easy to let day-to-day chaos take over your schedule, all of it just barrelling forward so that fitting anything in becomes impossible. But if you make having intimate time with your partner part of your schedule, then you can make sure to work around that time and ensure you do what has to be done in advance so that the date happens. Marking it in your calendar makes date night a more concrete priority. Choose a standing date and time so that it becomes as routine as the other tasks you have to get done.

Make arrangements for your kids’ care

It’s hard to get in the mood when your toddler starts crying for you or there’s always a chance your preschooler will want to sleep in your bed. On your date nights, plan for babysitting (send the kids off to your parents, for example), or make sure they have a play date so you have several hours for just the two of you. Another alternative is to have a babysitter come over so you two can take off for an exciting night of passion at a hotel.

Spice things up with unexpected displays of affection

Don’t wait to get romantic on your date night. Stir up those home fires by leaving a saucy little note in your husband’s computer bag or letting him know you’ll be wearing his favourite lingerie on your date later in the week. This will surely build up excitement and anticipation for your rendezvous, and you’ll both be counting down the days.

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