Before you walk down the aisle, there are certain things you need to discuss with your fiance to make sure you both want the same things from your life together — from the seemingly mundane (for example, the division of chores) to the biggies, such as if you want to have kids and how many. Here are five issues to chat about.
With so many marriages ending in divorce, it makes you wonder if these couples are talking about certain key issues before heading down the aisle. Perhaps too many couples are making assumptions about what they believe they know of their partners. Get talking with your partner before getting hitched. Here are five critical things you should discuss.
Will you do the groceries while he handles the cooking? Will you both do the laundry, or will that be his task while you cover the gardening? It’s not enough to assume chores will be divided as you’ve always divided them or that he’ll do the “manly” chores such as taking out the garbage while you do the “womanly” tasks such as doing the dishes. Roles are being reversed all the time nowadays.
Do you want children? Does he? How many are you each hoping to have? You may have already discussed this, but you definitely want to have a clear understanding on where you both stand on the matter. Too often, one half of a couple thinks they can change the mind of the other if they have different wishes (or that they’ll come around to wanting the same thing as you eventually), and this will only lead to resentment and sadness.
You may have a good sense of where you each stand when it comes to religion, but be sure to discuss what role religion will play in your lives together. Religion often becomes more of a focus once you have kids too, so establish whether you’ll be going to church regularly, what religion your kids will be brought up in and other issues.
Are you happy with your sex life? To keep sex passionate and exciting, it’s essential that you are able to communicate easily with each other about sex. What you want, what you feel you both can do to improve it and how to make it more satisfying are just a few examples of what you should discuss. When you can talk openly, you’ll be more likely to have your needs met than if you feel shameful or afraid to express yourself.
Will you be managing your finances together? What are your financial goals as a couple, and do each of your spending habits lend themselves to reaching those goals (or is one of you a spender while the other pockets away cash for a rainy day)? Will you be splitting expenses down the middle even though one of you earns more than the other? The stress of money woes can tear apart an otherwise strong relationship, so being clear on your financial plan will get your marriage off to a solid start.