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Love yourself first, and true love may follow

Going on date after date with no success? It could be because you don’t know and love yourself. Yes, that platitude is true. Here’s why, along with some ideas on how to discover your true self.

Happy woman

Not meeting Mr. Right? It might be because you don’t love yourself.

We’ve all heard the saying that you have to love yourself first, and it’s true. The reason for this is that we tend to be attracted to (and attract) people who are like us — not in every way, but when it comes to certain core characteristics. So if you hate certain aspects of yourself, how can someone else see past them when your attitude is one of self-loathing?

Know who you are

It’s important to know what you believe in, even when it comes to something as frivolous as, say, what kind of movies you like. What you like and are drawn to influences what type of people are attracted to you. And if you stumble along without an opinion or your own beliefs, well, that will negatively affect the number and type of people you draw in.

Go solo

Which is why it’s important to discover what you like and who you are as a person. Consider doing more things solo, such as dining out (and skip bringing a book or magazine, so you can truly take in the environment, the food, the people around you). Travel alone and explore what sights and activities you’re drawn to. Doing things solo is particularly crucial if you’re the type that bounces from one relationship to another and often adopts the interests of your current boyfriend.

Accept your flaws

While you’re discovering yourself, it’s important to remember that you are a unique person. You don’t need to mold yourself into something you’re not — you’re already the one and only one of you. Which is not to say you’re perfect — we all make mistakes, but our faults are part of what makes us who we are. Accept yourself, flaws and all, and you’ll find there’s an ease and confidence that follows. You may find that once you have this attitude of self-acceptance, you can more easily work on improving the traits you think can use some work. And as you become that new and improved you, you’ll have even more reason to love yourself. That works out well, wouldn’t you say?

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