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Is he the one for you?

You’ve been having fun in your relationship, but eventually you’ll have to decide if he’s the one for you and if you can make a go of it in terms of a serious relationship. Here are some factors to consider to help you figure that out.

Happy couple talking on the couch

When you start dating someone it’s exciting and easy to overlook certain things about your new guy, because you’re still in that cloud nine stage where everything is wonderful. But as your relationship develops, you’ll have to consider whether you two are compatible in the long run. To help you figure this out, here are some things to consider in your relationship.

Have you noticed any major red flags?

You may not want to recognize it because you do care for him, but have there been any moments that have stuck in your mind as a cause for alarm? Has he lost his temper over minor things? Or has a friend mentioned they don’t think he treats you right because he’s only thinking of himself? Before you make a deeper commitment to the relationship, it’s important to address these concerns. Putting them out of your mind won’t solve the problem.

How well do your personalities jibe with each other?

What personality traits do you have that are similar? In what ways are you complete opposites? If you are opposites in some respects, this is not necessarily a bad thing that means you are not meant for each other. In fact, depending on the trait, being different may help to balance each other out. Say, for example, one of you is quite serious while the other is more of a joker. Together you may reach a happy, light-hearted medium. But for some characteristics, being opposites may be what causes problems in the relationship.

Do you share the same values and goals?

Consider your values and goals and talk about them. Find out what issues and values are close to his heart. If you value family and loyalty and he doesn’t (or doesn’t right now, at least), you may be too different to develop a strong relationship that’ll last. It’s important to determine if you’re on the same wavelength.

Do you share common interests?

You do not need to love hockey just because your boyfriend loves hockey. Nor does he have to love running if you’re a runner. But there should be some common ground. Are you both into music, cooking or being outdoors, for example? You should have some hobbies or interests that bind you together and that you can enjoy as a couple.

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