When you’re dividing your time between your career, your kids, your friends and your community commitments, sometimes your most important relationship can get neglected. Check out these simple ways to check in with your spouse and give your marriage an instant boost.
It’s the small things
Letting your husband know you love him doesn’t have to involve some grandiose, sweeping gesture — just say it. Call or text him in the middle of the day, make him his favourite breakfast one morning or simply leave him a message on the bathroom mirror. Small reminders make a big difference over time — and they’re so easy to do.
Lend a hand
Next time your hubby is a little slow taking out the trash, don’t nag him — do it yourself! He’ll be so pleasantly surprised that you took care of it (without gloating about it, of course) that it might even inspire him to help out with some of your tasks. But keep in mind that this isn’t the goal — doing nice things for your man should be its own reward.
A 2010 study found that drinking together as a couple is actually good for your marriage — as opposed to drinking alone, drinking without him or not drinking at all. So, crack open that bottle of wine — just don’t overdo it, as heavy drinking can have a negative effect on your relationship.
Break out the “special occasion” lingerie
So what if it’s a Tuesday and you’ve got a big presentation tomorrow? Any day of the week is a good day to spend even just a few minutes reconnecting in the bedroom.
Eat dinner together — at the table
You’ve got spin class, he’s got hockey practice… it’s so easy to trade meal times for microwave dinners in front of the TV when you’re busy. But taking time every day to be a family is just as important as all those other commitments, so at least five days out of the week, make an effort to sit down, eat a healthy, homecooked meal and share the details of your day.
Be honest, but not naggy
No marriage is perfect and it’s important to speak up about issues that are bugging you before they spiral into full-on resentment. But try to avoid becoming the naggy wife who points out every little thing that bugs her. Instead, sit down and have an open, respectful, non-heated conversation about the things you each need to work on.
Ask for “me” time
Everyone needs space at some point or another, so don’t be afraid to tell your husband when you need a time-out. This is especially important when you’ve had a bad day and are in the “I want to rip someone’s head off” mindframe. Instead of taking it out on your spouse, lock yourself in a comfortable room with a magazine or your favourite sitcom until you feel calmer. You’ll both be better off for it.